It is beautiful outside. I love to be outside but I don't care anymore. I have my blinds pulled so I can't see out. I do get up early to job search. I have only been searching a couple of weeks, but I end up on the couch or into other web sites. I just got this job in Feb after a year of being unemployed and I was just laid off. I doubt if I get unemployment because of the time I was there It is crappy. The jobs are either bogus or too many applying. I don't get any calls from anyone, including family. I have no one to ask me how my day is. Just my animals. I know they love me, if not just to get fed. This life I have is only breathing. It is not living. I can't afford therapy and there are not any groups that are free around here. I am not creepy or a bad person and I can't understand why I am in this crazy time in my life. So, I am here. I can only pray that God will guide me and protect me because I have no one else...
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...