Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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What the F#$% do I do?

DepressedRecluse
DepressedRecluse
Sat.7/28 - Ugh!...I died...my life as I know it just suddenly came to an end...okay, not suddenly...but it did come to an end...I am so anxious and out of control...and worried...and pissed...and FRUSTRATED...FATIGUED...FEARFUL...and just such a FAILURE...I can't manage my own damn life...how can I manage anything else? Why can't I just get out of this funk that I am in and get back into my life...I mean really! it isn't that bad...sure my marriage is falling apart and non-existant actually...but hell at least I'm still married and I still love him...but...he doesn't love me....oh but that's another story...my son...ahh my son...the only true bright thing in my life...but how am I going to finance his college education if I can't even manage my own finances!...ugh...and what about my education/career goals...I just wasted the last four years of my life and they ended in failure!!!...and now I need to start all over at the beginning...but what if I can't...or worse yet what if I start over and then just end up failing again...this is all so f'ing hard!...I screwed up everything...and now I can't find the energy or motivation to start over. And if I can't find that in myself, why should anyone else even consider giving me another chance...why should I even try again...maybe I should just accept my failure and give up... Here I go again...I don't know what to do. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?
gramybear
gramybear
Do not accept failure, because I won't accept it. That is the devil talking to you and he needs to be out of the picture. You are not a failure. Maybe you have had some setbacks, but there is a big difference between setbacks and failure. You CAN start over. You didn't screw up anything, that is the devil talking. You asked what you should do? Start over, believe in yourself, and find that energy that you need to get yourself motivated again. You CAN do it.... We are here to help you in any way that we can... I'll say it again, believe in yourself!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can you be more specific about what is going on? Hard to advise with so little to go on.
Hugs
Angel105
Angel105
You can take one day at a time. Starting over is frightning. I do understand where your comeing from. All i can say is take baby steps, Be kinder to yourself (gentle hugs))
DepressedRecluse
DepressedRecluse
I am a TASK-STRUCTURED type of person...I like thinks to be just right...perfect...and if they are not everything that they're supposed be then I want to know why they aren't and I want to fix it. But I can't fix it...I can't fix everything!!! And I think that is where my low self worth and self value come from. If I cant have everything just right and perfect, I am not doing my job!...ugh...I just suck at this game called life...that's gotta be what it is. If everything in my life isn't right and perfect then somehow it's my faullt and I have to do all I can to fix it...and if I can't fix it or control it then I get ffrustrated, overwhelmed, and just ... die. UGH!
Right now, everything in my life is spinning out of control...and I do mean EVERYTHING...my house is a mess, my health is a mess, my finances are a mess, my career is a mess, and my family is a mess....FUCK IT: my LIFE IS A MESS!!! And to make it worse, this is the third or fourth time in MY LIFETIME...that I have been in this fucking situation!...I mean really? Talk about being SLOW LEARNER...MAN! UGH...I am a very private, reserved, type of person...so when stuff is going bad...I internalize all of it and put on a mask of everything is okay...I do that for years...and then I go an focus on other things that I think I can control to forget about the things that I can't control...then the other things get to a point where I can't control them anymore...and I check out and I isolate myself...and I get overwhelmed and then I basically just explode and DIE!
I'm screwed...screwed up...and just plain FUCKED UP. Can I have a drink now? Please!
There!...I said it...I admitted it...NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO
heretic
heretic
That is a lot of stuff to have go wrong, in my opinion I'd look at what I did have, like you said you have a husband that you love. You have a higher education and am able to make your dreams come true. You have family - something I've never had. Stop worrying about it all at once, pick one thing to focus on at a time. I really believe it will all work out in the end. Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are doing better than you think you are. Its hard to see with this fog over you but look st yourself in the mirror and say it. Baby steps is the best way to go so u don't get overwhelmed. You say you've been there before so you know from experience that you can pick yourself up by the bootstraps and you know you are resilient among other things. Don't dwell on the past.