Hi sannyjax, first and foremost, good for you for holding on like you are, I know at times it is really difficult to. I am still trying to find ideas to help me cope with my Depression also. I was recently diagnosed with Depression and PTSD (I was molested by my older brother when I was younger). Sometimes I feel as though the two illnesses feed off of each other, which can also be very frusterating. But (so far) what I've found that helps is when you want to be alone, you should be alone. But when you're alone do something to help you get your mind off of the Depression (I know, easier said than done). What I've found helpful is to write out how you're feeling, it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, just write whatever comes to your mind. Another thing that helps me is music, music is huge influence in my life and sometimes I just sit in my room a lone and blare my headphones to whatever mood of music I'm feeling. Also, if you don't feel comfortable talking to your husband about how you're feeling, maybe therapy might help. I sought out therapy because I wasn't comfortable talking to my family about my personal issues and I also wanted to get a non-biased opinion and advice from someone who didn't now me personally. I don't know if any of this is helpful, but just some ideas of what helps me. I wish you well and hope you start to feel better soon.

Thank you for replying, I suffer from social anxiety too and somedays its just so hard to face people, its hard to explain.
I think , for me, a lot of it is about shame. Thats why its hard to discuss with anyone, also I feel he will think badly of me if he knew the real feelings I have inside.


I am on the wait list for NHS therapy - its tough to access here in the UK at 50 an hour its hard to afford too!

No problem for replying. I'm sorry that you suffer from social anxiety also. Why do you feel shame? Could it possibly be from your abuse? (If you don't mind me asking, but if rather not answer, that's ok too). I can understand that shame, to an extent. Please know that the abuse that happened to you was not your fault. I'm sorry that you feel as though your husband would feel badly of you if you shared your internal feelings with him. On the other hand, it's good that you're on a waiting list for NHS therapy, but that's unfortunate that the prices of it could be an issue.

Yes the shame comes from the abuse. It started when I was 7 so is quite deep rooted I suppose.

Sometimes I think I just think way too much.
I have been working on the David Linden Anxiety programme. Its really simple support programme - it basically tells you to get out and do stuff and get a life instead of sitting at home feeling scared. Themore you do the less you feel scared and depressed! It makes sense but easier said than done. He's made a lot of money from it!!!

Thanks again, hope your day is going ok, Im not too bad today!

I too had similar experiences in life. I think our horrendous past experiences build up until your body just can't hold in the anxiety any longer. My husband also had no idea what was happening . Two years after a brutal episode, I helped to educate him on the topic by having him read and watch documentaries on the subject. I never want to feel alone like that again. I'm convinced that there are meds out there that work for everyone. Finding them is the issue. First, you need to find a good doctor or psychologist. I was lucky enough to have found one. The road back is long and full of ups and downs, but well worth the battle. I made a promise to myself that if I ever reach rock bottom again, I would check myself into a hospital or clinic to get help. Don't give up. Do whatever you need to in order to get help.