Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I keep asking myself, what is the point in getting up in the morning, caring about myself, going through one more day that is just like the one before. My mother said that my life can change, but it can't because I am too big of a chicken sh*t to make anything happen. I am ruled by fear and self doubt and there fore am not any good for my kids, my family or my friends. They don't understand why my moods are so irratic. My dh said today that I just need to have my hormone levels checked because "this" happens every month and he is not sure how much more he can take of me not letting him in or talking to him. It is amazing to me that while at church on Sunday, most everyone realized that I was crying but him. He is so oblivious or just does not give a damn. All I know is that my depression is an inconvinience for him.
Sometimes it is hard for our loved ones to know how to react. I know my husband can be clueless, but he really does care. I just have to tell him what I need, he's not very good at figuring it out on his own.
Im so sorry you are feeling so down..you can make changes happen in your life but you have to work through some things so you can focus on change.I know all too well about being ruled by fear and worry and self doubt...our thoughts about ourselves rule our mind and its difficult to change those thoughts but it can be done..I highly recomend Louise Hay who has books and audiobooks out that are very comforting..'You can heal your life' 'You can change your life' and ;Positive affirmatiions' are just a few of the many books she has written..i prefer the audio book as I am really comforted by her soothing, wise voice. I know how you feel in the reactions you are getting from your husband..they are wired so differntly in how they think and they just dont understand. I have tried to explain to my bf for the last yr how imobilizing depression is and how i cannot express myself or explain how painful it is emotionally and all I get is a blank stare. I have separated from him and told him i am going to focus on healing my issues because i am depleted from being there for everyone else..women are always the nurturers but who nurtures us?? I do think you should get your thyroid checked and see if your levels are ok and maybe consider trying a bio identical hormone cream like progesterone..your Dr may be able to prescribe it for you to try..I am 43 and have felt my moods go up and down like a rollercoaster, 2 weeks of every month are lost to PMS and menses and I cant stand to be around anyone and have been so moody I just take to my bed for a couple days, just feeling so depressed. I have been using the progesterone cream and it has helped my moods and i have felt more focused and more like my old self. It might be worth checking into and if you can see a naturopath they are very good about hormone testing etc. I hope this helps and please msg me if you ever need to talk
What is the point? Well, you are a living, breathing human being. That is the point. Nothing deeper than that really. It's an opportunity to have a life that I don't think we get again. Some think differently but this life is what it is.
Your mother is quite right. Yopur life certainly can change. Someone else has asked if you are seeing a doc. That sounds necessary to me too. Or a counsellor. Someone with experience to help you sort things through.
If you are ruled by fear then you are like most here on this site. It immobilises us, depression, but it doesn't need to. Treatment and support and time can change that and then your life will have changed.
You are not chicken shit, it's the depression, a real illness, causing the problems.
If it is happening just once a month then the possibilites do narrow down a lot don't they? Either way a doc is the one to discuss it with. Honestly. If your moods are varying weekly, daily or even shorter then it may even be bi polar disorder which also can be controlled with treatment, meds. I am bp2 and I'm fine with meds.
You make a contradictory statement about your husband. First you say he can't take much more of you not talking to him or letting him in and then you state he is oblivious.
It can't be both. If you shut him out what do you expect him to do? He can't read minds and neither can you. If you read your own words you'll see the clash of those 2 statements.
Why is he asking for you to let him in and talk to him? Why aren't you doing that? If you don't then it's a bit silly to say he's oblivious don't you think?
Men are not "wired differently" at all. Just like women they need information and communication. Men are just as capable of nurturing as any woman and for anyone to say otherwise is just personal bias showing through.
Women do get the nurturing role naturally due to giving birth and to date most women have been given that job. But it is not unnatural for males at all. In fact it's quite common throughout the animal kingdom and more and more common amongst humans every year.
What you need to do is deal with your individual situation and not take on a male/female stance as that does no one any good. One bad apple etc...
Talk to him, let him in and see what happens. But see your doc first, please.
You should know about this, being a teacher, we had to learn about self-esteem for children, motivating them, encouraging them, etc. So, if you have no one in your arena (sounds like you may have your mom, tho), YOU NEED TO BE YOUR OWN NURTURER, AND NURTURE THAT INNER CHILD IN YOU. Somehow, someway, you have lost that relationship with yourself, assuming that you've ever had it. Talk with your mom, if possible, and perhaps she can help sort things out a bit, otherwise, that nasty spiral will continue, and your kids will continue to suffer!!
You have to try to pull yourself out by getting to the Doctors office, getting diagnosed and re-evaluated to find out are you severely chronically depressed, do you have bi-polar disorder, is it hormonal, is it due to a thyroid problem, are you sleeping regularly, eating properly, etc.
Also I would be curious if you feel better about yourself when you are not home with your husband & disregarding kids present? Do you feel better when you talk with Mom or a friend?
YOu have to determine whether this depression is based on biological, physiological factors, versus if it's environmentally induced, when HE gets mad at you, or talks condescendingly to you, or yells @ the boys, or expects sex without providing respect, touching, loving, and nurturing in return to you. This last one would make me very very depressed, so I'm thinking that most likely your external circumstances are definitely making you depressed, but you have to find out, also and can't rule out the bio-physical need for meds too. I'm sure many have both included in their depression. I've been depressed due to external situations, for 9 months, my job to be exact, and now, I'm no longer working. Then my husband had an emotional affair, so that really spiraled me down, down, and now I'm trying to pull myself out, even tho I stay home way too much, but my self-esteem is now returning back to the way it should be, and that's helping.
Please don't keep kicking yourself while your down low, lying on the ground, it does you no good. It's plain old punishment, and self-sabotage. Get the help you need. I found a very good counselor, and I'm happy with her!!!
Sending ya lots of hugs (((((teddy))))) and prayers. Feel free to email me if you'd like!!!