I don't know what to do. I'll be perfectly fine for weeks at a time, then suddenly, for no reason, it all comes back. Most of my friends are gone, and I rarely see the ones that aren't. I can't make new ones because I'm to afraid of being abandoned again; any time I find myself getting closer to someone, I pull away, because I'd rather have the pain of being alone than the pain of losing someone else. I have no one talk to, to REALLY talk to. I mean, I just want a close friend who I want to talk to and who wants to talk to me. I guess what I want is to be wanted. But I'm not. No one cares. And I mean, let me be real for a second; have you SEEN the guys people are marrying these days. They're horrible! What are they doing right that I'm doing wrong? Why does it seem like everyone else makes friends (to whatever degree) so easily? I just feel so alone. I want to go home and never leave; I'd rather be alone by myself than alone in a crowd.