Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Well where do I start?
A year ago today I was a month away from giving birth to my last child, living in Seattle. My daughter was barely 16 months old. My ex lost his job, right as I was having my son, the landlord filed our two week notice to move out. There went the happy thoughts of coming home to a bright and happy place to live, the water was turned off, no electricity. I had to leave our apartment and all my daughters things. I was upset I threw everything out, I left it on the curb by the side of the street. My ex started using heroin before he was fired from his job, he left work sometimes to get heroin and shoot up in the employee bathroom. It just went bad, really fast. Then as usual, it got much worse. I should have stayed with my parents, I shouldn't have left with my ex but I did. He loved me, I loved him, it was us against the world, us against my parents. My daughter meant the world to me, I gave her all of my everything. In a short version, we traveled by train from a hippie convent that turned out to be a freak show, met with some Mormons who paid for our next trip to San Diego. My ex was once married to a Mormon girl, he knew how to take advantage. We used to travel in a UHAUL across country after we decided to flee New Orleans, because he was a junkie and our neighbors hated him. On our way to California, we stopped in every small town big city hospital in every town every state so he could fake his ribs hurting from a fracture while in the army twenty years ago. I had to play the new mom with our daughter., i would have to take care of everything once he got in sight of doctors coming into work, he limped held his side and i just rolled my eyes. Town after town, after town, after town.
That was before I had my son, a year ago. I was happy for only a moment. My mother told me I had a problem with alcohol but she bought me Mead for after I had my son and handed me a beer during my nieces birthday party. I am probably not making much sense, but all my memories have fucked each other and made new memories to think about over and over. I can't really talk about what happened six months ago because i will break this computer thinking about it.
A year ago today I was a month away from giving birth to my last child, living in Seattle. My daughter was barely 16 months old. My ex lost his job, right as I was having my son, the landlord filed our two week notice to move out. There went the happy thoughts of coming home to a bright and happy place to live, the water was turned off, no electricity. I had to leave our apartment and all my daughters things. I was upset I threw everything out, I left it on the curb by the side of the street. My ex started using heroin before he was fired from his job, he left work sometimes to get heroin and shoot up in the employee bathroom. It just went bad, really fast. Then as usual, it got much worse. I should have stayed with my parents, I shouldn't have left with my ex but I did. He loved me, I loved him, it was us against the world, us against my parents. My daughter meant the world to me, I gave her all of my everything. In a short version, we traveled by train from a hippie convent that turned out to be a freak show, met with some Mormons who paid for our next trip to San Diego. My ex was once married to a Mormon girl, he knew how to take advantage. We used to travel in a UHAUL across country after we decided to flee New Orleans, because he was a junkie and our neighbors hated him. On our way to California, we stopped in every small town big city hospital in every town every state so he could fake his ribs hurting from a fracture while in the army twenty years ago. I had to play the new mom with our daughter., i would have to take care of everything once he got in sight of doctors coming into work, he limped held his side and i just rolled my eyes. Town after town, after town, after town.
That was before I had my son, a year ago. I was happy for only a moment. My mother told me I had a problem with alcohol but she bought me Mead for after I had my son and handed me a beer during my nieces birthday party. I am probably not making much sense, but all my memories have fucked each other and made new memories to think about over and over. I can't really talk about what happened six months ago because i will break this computer thinking about it.
You would get more responses if you posted this in the general discussion area. Hang in there!
maybe talking about what happened 6 months ago...is necessary for healing?
I know release...is powerful