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Weight Gain , PLEASE HELP ME.

mugglestruggles
mugglestruggles

Hi! So I've been really struggling with weight gain and it has literally changed my whole life. In highschool I was fit, had a nice body, round butt, I was in sports, Looked great, got a lot of guys, basically i was CONFIDENT... and then in college I slowly started gaining weight (as most people do.). My relationship with my ex was becoming toxic and he would try to feed me unhealthy food (like snackcakes and candy) to make me gain weight just so other guys wouldnt want me (he admitted it after we broke up.). Of course he didnt force me to eat it but he definitely pushed me to and I couldnt resist some swiss rolls and zebra cakes. 


Anywho, After our relationship ended, i fell into a funk. I eventually ended up dating someone else thats been great and we started eating out ALOT. He doesnt gain any weight but I have.  WHat made the weight gain worse was my parents always talking about how big I got and how pretty I would be if I was skinnier and they would tell me horrible things like "i wont be apart of your future kids lives if you dont lose weight" and just always making me feel horrible.. 


Of course that didnt help me.. I continued to eat my saddness away. Then I got a great job and they constantly have donuts and unhealthy food for free. Ive tried going to the gym, going on diets, even tried being vegan to lose weight and I always end up failing after about a week. Which has made my mental state even worse. I hate who I have become and how i feel. I hate going outside of my house now, I hate posting pictures.. my parents dont even want me to see the rest of my family because theyre embarressed  of how I look (im 230 pounds now). And although there are bigger people than me, I just cant seem to find motivation. I dont want to develop any diseases (such as heart disease or diabetes). Im moving to LA in two days which I know is going to put even more pressure on me. I just feel horrible and dont know how to stay motivated. Ive tried everything. Please give me any ideas or insights on what I can do. I wish I could afford a trainer to be there for me everyday pushing me and telling me what to eat but its just not in my budget. 

sharaninmd
sharaninmd
Sorry for the cruel things your parents are saying and for what you are going through. Have you tried weight watchers? I have friends who have lost weight through weight watchers. It's really hard to stick with diets. I have found that cutting down on carbs, sugar and eating smaller portions has helped me. Exercise of any kind will help even if it is just a walk. Good luck.
Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer
Adopt a diet as if you have type 2 diabetes. 3 snacks 3 meals counting carbs in both with the carb numbers as something from your health care provider. Cut out sugary drinks entirely especially anything containing high fructose corn syrup. Count the carbs on package labels as you shop as well as overall numbers on everything. Increase daily fiber amounts to between 20 and 35 grams. Again consult with health care provider on these ideas and how they fit in with your own needs.
PorcupineTurtle
PorcupineTurtle
It doesn't sound like food is your problem. Food is food, but, as humans, we tend to place emotions on it. We develop an emotional relationship with it that shouldn't exist. Basically you're using food as a coping mechanism to not deal with underlying emotions and past traumas aka your shit-ex and parents. Anyway, I would recommend a book called Intuitive Eating. It helps us to detach and recognize our emotional attachment to food. Also, maybe talk to a therapist or look into eating disorder support groups? Diets and more strict monitoring of your food are not the answer. 95% of the percent who diet gain the weight back and more. I imagine your daily thoughts are already pretty much consumed by weight and food, why add to it?

I know this probably does not sound like the quick and easy way, but it's the one that's sustainable and long term. Once you figure out what drives your emotional attachment to food, you can avoid/work through triggers and your body will naturally go back to the weight that its comfortable at because you're no longer bingeing and "numbing" with food.