What if you were one of your friends you talked to, and they were the ones in your shoes?

What would you tell them?

I totally get what you're saying. I feel the same way a lot of the time. Something I've found helpful (you may or may not) is to think of things this way.
1. How much control do I have over the past, what's come and gone? Answer: zip
2. Therefore, there's no point beating myself up over it. (I know, I know, easier said than done!) The ONLY time I have any control over is right this minute. What can I do right this minute that will help me feel happy/purposeful/more comfortable/or whatever? (Whichever I'm capable of at the time.) And then I do it, even if it's nothing more than putting on a pair of warmer socks.

It's really hard to try to do something with your life when you are carrying around this dragon on your back. Don't feel bad about your life though if you can, just try to accept that you have done the best you could with it and that tomorrow is a new day. Try to find something that helps you and hang on to hope that you can make up for these lost years when you overcome this disease.

Think of it this way: You have not wasted years of your life...you may not be in the place that you once thought you would be by this time, but you have done something--you have learned how you DON'T want to be in life--depressed. Figuring out that being depressed is miserable is the first step in realizing that it's time to change. I don't know your situation, I only know my own, but I know that I'm a happier person when I'm thinking good thoughts instead of the usual negative thoughts that eat away at me. I too feel embarassed to see people that I knew from school--I was very smart in school and could very well have been a doctor by now, but that wasn't God's plan for me and I accept that. I'm 27 and have been blessed with a wonderful husband and little boy, but I also have dealt with depression and being very overweight but right now, at this moment, I have committed myself to changing all of that. My guiding light? God. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you can see just how much potential you really have in this life and that it is not too late to start becoming the person that you want to be :) Smile!

wait until they ask more personal and caring questions. anyone can ask - what's new? what's up? what's been going on in your life?
who wants to, or who can actually answer that question? it is really a hard question to answer.

my mother will be the first one to tell you I wasted my youth! LOL

On the other hand, I have learned things about life on a different time line than others

You have probably accomplished things that you are not even aware of

Depression is a thief...it does steal time, but you are a survivor kiddo

I like what starfish wrote, be kind to yourself you deserve it

waste of life? You are a mother. That is more accomplished then any diploma on your wall or all the money in the world. You are looking at this all wrong. Perhaps your childhood friends are alittle shallow.

You have accomplished something!!! Think about this! You didn't ask to have depression. It somehow chose you. You have managed to live and are here to try and get help. This is something to me. I see people all the time that don't have a clue as to what depression it at all!! I ask myself how in this world could anyone not know about depression. Still, I see and know those that live everyday and have never been in this situation. We that are depressed and struggle each day didn't ask for this illness. It robs us of a lot of joy and finances and relationships, ect. Remember that it is the depression that robs you of energy. Some days I get to work and as I hit the top of the stairs I breathe a big breath and say " help me" get through this day. It is hard and I want to give up all the time. I have to keep going, for to stop is to say I really am worthless and we are not. We are just cursed with this illness that we can not help. All we can do is reach out to those that understand and ask for their help. We are here for you.
Sheila- blondelexus

i go through some of what you feel too...everything just seems such a waste...but what i have trained myself to do is that everyday, i just push myself to do the things that need to be done and tune myself out from my own self...even a mundane task as cooking the evening meal becomes a burden...but i just do it like a robot...i just try to do it day by day and just don't think...

Everyone's life unfolds at it's own pace, in it's own time. I have felt the same before. I failed college 3 times. I'm 26, alone, and bankrupt. But life is about the lessons and the journey. Don't compare your time line to others. See your doctor about some medicine. I did that today. I feel like, if I can take something, I will feel better, if I feel better I can get to work on my life. There is no such thing as wasted time/years. It is all part of your learning process in the journey of life.

I believe that you have accomplished lots. You have faced each day with this terrible illness. You have not let it beat you yet, you have a lot to be proud of. Unfortunately, that is something that you probably can't share with many people, because depression is not easily understood. Take pride in what you are doing to get by each day. I am proud of you. Stay strong.

Thank you all so much. Your kind words/advice have truly helped...

i feel the same as you confusedmoma, sometimes i feel as if im behind in life...but really where is this measure coming from?

Depression is what you have, not who you are. Your past is what you have experience, again not who you are.

When I Have mentally stay and ponder in the past, woulda, coulda, shoulda, and beat myself up...I cannot tell you how many open doors I missed in front of me, by continually staring at the close doors behind me.

They are closed.

When I am in the situation that you were in, I make myself listen to THEM, and genuinely oh and awe over their list of accomplishments.

When they ask me I am honest, but not in detail. "Well, I am not where I thought I would be at this time in my life, but I am figuring it out--a day at a time.

If they press for more, I offer short answers, but again no detail. One it really is none of their business. And please consider, no one can make you feel less than them, ashamed of your life, etc. without your permission.

You have accomplished much. Accomplishments are subjective.

Like with me, I have learned not to be so angry--for ME, that is a big accomplishment. How would I put that into words? Well, how about I was challenged with anger, but really put my mind to it and now I am a much appier person.

Okay maybe that wasn't the best example, but I am hoping you understand...

Maybe write it down, keep an accomplishment, or thankful journal. Seeing in writing is so validating and makes you remember how far you really have come...

Like someone else mentioned. I may have not figured outmy life yet, but I do keep redefining it. Maybe you can redefine where should be to where it is reasonable for you to be AND where YOU will be happy.

Hope this helps...

I don't know who's standards i am trying to live up to... i just know i don't feel fulfilled with my life right now.