Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I know I really need to get into this with my therapist and I will next week but it's weighing on me. I checked myself into treatment for alcohol and drug abuse after a major car accident. I also started seeing a therapist then. I'm doing good and staying sober but my mind is pretty disturbed by what happened. The more I think about it the more I'm thinking it was like an unconscious suicide attempt. Can anyone relate to that? My therapist asked me if I've ever thought of harming myself, I said sure I have but mostly just fantasy based on being very frustrated with life. He asked if I had a plan to do it and I said no I didn't I don't think I was realistic about it and that's where the conversation stopped.
I remember getting very depressed about a family situation and my job was not going well at all. The more I think about it I was just depressed in general. I'm not sure if that was from the copious amounts of booze and drugs I was putting into my body or if that's why I was putting the booze and drugs into my body. Either way I went on a weekend bender which wasn't unheard of. I drank casually all week, and got really drunk friday, drank all day saturday, and woke up and drank on sunday. I took a nap sunday, woke up sobered up a little bit and then ended up going to a bar by myself in the evening.
At the bar I remember ordering a drink and then one more. I remember being very depressed about my alcoholism, where I'm at in life, unhappy about being single, some lady smiling at me thinking I'm too depressed to even pick up a girl in a bar, and then I had 2 more drinks. I got really drunk and don't remember much after that besides just saying F-IT and took a large shot of whiskey before stumbling to my car. I remember trying to drive as safely as possible and then all the sudden I lost control of my car on the freeway, I ended up rolling it a few times and getting taken to the hospital.
I'm just trying to make sense of it all. Is that a suicide attempt? Or was it just a really stupid decision to drink and drive? It's all very disturbing to me and I can't make sense of it because I don't remember much of what happened.
I'm sober now and getting my life together. I'm happy for the most part but have ups and downs and sometimes the weight of my actions and how I used to live drags me down to the place I'm at right now...feeling worthless again. I'll dust myself off and get through this I just wanted an outside opinion. Thanks.
I remember getting very depressed about a family situation and my job was not going well at all. The more I think about it I was just depressed in general. I'm not sure if that was from the copious amounts of booze and drugs I was putting into my body or if that's why I was putting the booze and drugs into my body. Either way I went on a weekend bender which wasn't unheard of. I drank casually all week, and got really drunk friday, drank all day saturday, and woke up and drank on sunday. I took a nap sunday, woke up sobered up a little bit and then ended up going to a bar by myself in the evening.
At the bar I remember ordering a drink and then one more. I remember being very depressed about my alcoholism, where I'm at in life, unhappy about being single, some lady smiling at me thinking I'm too depressed to even pick up a girl in a bar, and then I had 2 more drinks. I got really drunk and don't remember much after that besides just saying F-IT and took a large shot of whiskey before stumbling to my car. I remember trying to drive as safely as possible and then all the sudden I lost control of my car on the freeway, I ended up rolling it a few times and getting taken to the hospital.
I'm just trying to make sense of it all. Is that a suicide attempt? Or was it just a really stupid decision to drink and drive? It's all very disturbing to me and I can't make sense of it because I don't remember much of what happened.
I'm sober now and getting my life together. I'm happy for the most part but have ups and downs and sometimes the weight of my actions and how I used to live drags me down to the place I'm at right now...feeling worthless again. I'll dust myself off and get through this I just wanted an outside opinion. Thanks.
I do think, however, if it was a real attempt you would have had more memories of it. The most likely explanation I can think of is like you laid out: you were very sad about your life, gave into drinking, made a bad decision to drive and suffered the consequences.
There must be an accident report, perhaps that will shed some light on it for you. Were you observed making a distinct effort to drive off the road, or did it look like a person gradually losing control of their car?
I am so very sorry that you had this happen to you, you must be very scared about this. I applaud your efforts to stay sober, and hope that you are able to dedicate yourself to an alcohol free life. There are a lot of AA type groups online, there is even one here on DS.
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Alcoholism/support-group
We here in the depression group really understand depression and can be part of a peer support group for you. But there are a lot of things about alcoholism that are very specific to itself, and getting support from a group like AA.
There is a CL (Community Leader, the term DS uses for user moderator) in that group who can help introduce you to DS and how to get more out of your DS experience:
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/462380
Welcome to DS!
suicide don't do things that could kill innocent people along with them.
:)