Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I wonder if I am being fair. I get hurt so many times because I try to smile and get through the day. I try to be easy going and get along with everyone and end up being a patsy and resenting them for not doing what I want or need. I don't know if I am that great of an actress or what, but I want people to "see" me.
I want someone in my life who looks past the smile and the "oks" and tries to do something special for me. I wonder if I expect too much..
When I ask to watch TV and suggest a show and my husband says ok, then as he's changing the channel sees something else and just turns it on without asking. Should I expect him to stop and turn to me and go "oh you said something about watching ....and turn to what I wanted"
Should I expect thoughtfulness at dinner time "She is going to be late and I am picking up take out, I should get something for her too..."
Should I expect people to call on my birthday and Mother's Day. Should I expect them to make sure they find time to come see me.
To me these are basics I don't get.
I would like more thoughtfulness....like my friend's daughter "wow she seems really stressed from all the hours she is working I should buy her a stress relief candle" "or make sure the house is clean" "or go by her office and bring her dinner one night". Or noticing I have a headache or don't feel well. Can no one see past the smile, should I not expect it?
Should no one know my favorite flower, how much I hate my birthday being brushed aside, how much I love hand made gifts that I know someone took time on, not just ran by a store and bought the firs thing they saw. Should I not want someone to think about me and try to understand my thoughts and feelings without me having to ask, or nag...
I really want someone to at least "look" even if they cant' "see"...Too much to ask?
I want someone in my life who looks past the smile and the "oks" and tries to do something special for me. I wonder if I expect too much..
When I ask to watch TV and suggest a show and my husband says ok, then as he's changing the channel sees something else and just turns it on without asking. Should I expect him to stop and turn to me and go "oh you said something about watching ....and turn to what I wanted"
Should I expect thoughtfulness at dinner time "She is going to be late and I am picking up take out, I should get something for her too..."
Should I expect people to call on my birthday and Mother's Day. Should I expect them to make sure they find time to come see me.
To me these are basics I don't get.
I would like more thoughtfulness....like my friend's daughter "wow she seems really stressed from all the hours she is working I should buy her a stress relief candle" "or make sure the house is clean" "or go by her office and bring her dinner one night". Or noticing I have a headache or don't feel well. Can no one see past the smile, should I not expect it?
Should no one know my favorite flower, how much I hate my birthday being brushed aside, how much I love hand made gifts that I know someone took time on, not just ran by a store and bought the firs thing they saw. Should I not want someone to think about me and try to understand my thoughts and feelings without me having to ask, or nag...
I really want someone to at least "look" even if they cant' "see"...Too much to ask?
From what you described I don't think you're expecting too much. I wonder, is it possible that the people around you are taking your smile at face value? Maybe they do notice that something is 'off' but don't want to upset you by asking about it directly. How do you feel about being honest with a few people about how you are feeling? Do you think they would be receptive to your feelings?
How would your husband react if you said, "Do you think we could agree on what to watch tonight?" Or when a day is coming up that you'd like a little extra attention, or something nice do you think you could say to someone, "You know, _____ day is coming up, I think I'd like to do something nice that day." I completely understand wanting people to be a little less selfish and a little more selfless, but when they're just not doing it you may have to suggest it a bit.
I know I'm asking a lot of questions, and I'm not trying to overwhelm you. ((hugs))
Sadiegirl