Just logged on....never been here before and yours was the first post I came across. I feel your pain. I understand your pain. Just as your thoughts go to the negative, you can change them. You CAN do this. Think of anything positive in your life. A favorite vacation spot or how you feel walking on a perfect day enjoying breathing in and out the fresh air. Maybe focus on a favorite memory. Maybe focus on a dream or a goal you may have or had. Focus on those around you. Those that love you. Those that need you. Even those that may have hurt you. All in your life have shaped who you are. Maybe even think that you are thirsty right now. Grab a cold drink. Feel the coldness going to your lips and down as you swallow. I know it sounds silly, but becoming VERY AWARE of your surroundings and what you are doing can help change your thought process. I would like to share with you a story. Mine. I have been married for almost 28 years. To begin with, my husband and I wanted children and it just wasn't happening for us....12 years passed. Slow, painful years. After surgeries, injections, medications, extreme ups and downs, miscarriage after miscarriage, I was told I couldn't carry a baby to term. I should look at adoption. Then, a year later after stopping everything I was doing and focusing on me and being happy....I was pregnant. Not without complications - but extreme complications. I bled and bled and clotted all the time. My doctor thought I was miscarrying. Every time I went in, he could still see a heartbeat! My baby was okay! I was able to carry to term and gave birth to a very healthy baby boy! Shortly after, I became pregnant again. Same thing. By all means, I should have miscarried but instead - I gave birth to a very healthy baby girl! Now my beautiful angels are both teenagers! Active, healthy, beautiful souls. I tell them often they are both here for a reason. I don't know what that reason was or is, but they should have been miscarried like my other babies - but instead, they were survivors! There is plan for them both. Rebecca - there is a plan for you. I don't know you - but I can feel your pain in your post. You need to change your thoughts. YOU own them! YOU can be strong. YOU are here for a reason. I don't know what that is and can't tell you, but you are here for a purpose. Be strong. YOU can beat this. I remember wanting to die. Wanting to drive off a bridge or take too much of something. Then I look back at that black time in my life and I thank GOD that I talked myself out of it and found the strength to go on. You can do it Rebecca. You are worth it.

Stop! You need to stop these thoughts before they take you over.

same here , but dont over think too much you go crazy

Your talking about overdosing on pills is NOT silly. Please don't think you are not being taken seriously. Keep talking about what you are going through and finding suport.

I think that you should go to the hospital if you are feeling this way. Get help. There is no shame in that. I have done it, and it was okay. I only got better after I reached out for professional help.