Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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struggling16 03/16/2017

I'm still here everyone. I appreciate everyone who has responded to my cry for help.

Those wondering what in the hell is my problems are well:

1. My husband seperated from me after 5 yrs of marriage and 9 yrs old of knowing him, to him falling out of love with me.

2. My husband lack of parental responsibility. And shutting our kids out of his life.

3. Alot of old memories came back causing me to have PTSD, so basically I have alot of triggers right.

4. Not being able to care for my girls due to this depression. And alot of doubt of whether or I not I can manage to take care of them.

5. Being judged and condemn by my friends and family for being an unfit mother and a chappy wife.

These are just the outlines key bulletin of what been going on. There is alot of emotional background to them all.

Something wonderful happen yesterday. I found out people's who have been giving me so much crap about my depression is actually rooting for me. It was eye opening knowing they knew why I had been feeling so crazy these last few months. My best friend who I hadn't talk much to since me and my husband are mutual friends finally talked to me last night. And she told me to stop protecting John (who is or should I say was my husband) from looking bad. Which I've been trying to do. But it's hard because I'm that kind of person. I'm not saying I'm doing great, I'm not. I have alot of fears of whether or not I'll will be able to pull myself out of this funk. 1 of the reason why I was adopting my girls out was because I felt like the only reason I would be living is because I had them. I don't want to use them as a crutch. Of course when I told my BF about that she says why not? It's a purpose. So what I'm trying to says in a nut she'll is: I'm going to give living another chance, get stable and get my oldest back. But if I fail at least I have a plan made up.

Thanks again everyone. I have a hard time opening up and letting people in. I'm trying. I have some that I have tried and they judged me and made me feel even more worthless. But I'm trying..

NiaBerry 03/16/2017

Hi. You're going through a lot right now, and when you throw everything in one big pile, the weight will crush you. Deal with it slowly- one problem at a time. Your husband left. That's a big one. It hurts. Allow yourself to grieve over what's gone, and don't let anyone make you feel any less because you need this time. You're not done. You have to pick yourself off, dust yourself off, and move on to the next. I know it's hard. There is no judgement here. There is so much more you need to think about. Shame on anyone who tries to make you feel bad. You've been through too much for it not to hurt, but there has to come point when you decide you want to and deserve to better. Hang in there! You life is too precious. I've been at that point where I wanted to end it all. I almost succeeded once. It's not worth it. You are not alone.

Heidiclark 03/16/2017

I just want to ask you to be patient with yourself about your ability to take care of your kids. I have always sruggled to be able to take care of my son who will be 19 in a month. The difference for me was that I always had my husband who is considered to be his primary care giver. Even now Josh lives with his aunt and uncle although we pick him up from school every day and we spend time with him most days and on weekends. After years and years of struggle I finally accepted the fact that I needed help and would always need help with my son.

I know you worry about your girls living with others but at least they have someone for now who can care for them. You haven't had to give them up yet. If it turns out you can only keep the oldest girl then so be it. You're doing the best you can and that's all you can do.

My hope for you is that you can work something out the way my husband and I did with the in laws. So that you can see your kids and be part of their lives without all the responsibility. It really is worth it to fight for yourself and for your kids. You are still a family even if you're not alway together.

Debbalina 03/16/2017

Yay! Im so glad you've gotten in touch with whats fighting for you inside. Its great to identify you have a great deal of fight left. I agree with your friend - your kids aren't a crutch. I can't tell you how many times Ive heard parents who are struggling say their kids are what keep them going. Thats great you've learned who is rooting for you. That can make all the difference. I know what you mean about not sharing - I am the same, not sharing much. But words can set us free! Im glad you are finally opening up. Your path is inspiring!

ThePepperMan 03/16/2017

Yes, I am very happy to read your good news!

I will close your other post and direct people to this update!!!

Continuing hugs

savinggrace1977 03/16/2017

I'm glad to hear that you've changed your mind , when things seem tough trying to think of your kids. I really don't feel like in going into what happened in my case but after a failed suicide attempt you see how it would have effected them and how much it would have hurt them. It took a long time for mine to get past it and his mom is still here Talking to you. Sometimes the reasons in the stuff going through your mind seem logical at the time you want to do these things but trust me in a year from now you'll look at yourself and think you're the biggest fool in the world for thinking of it. And I'm really talking about myself from experience. I was so busy being heartbroken over someone I pushed all my friends away. Then when it was time for me to have someone to talk to you there was no one because no one was around and no one wanted to listen. Sometimes I'd reach out and I make plans to get out and be social and stop thinking about what happened and then at the last minute wanting to be home and wanting to be alone I cancel them . There's lots of people out there and lots of people to talk to you. I'm always here. when you need that little bit of strength look in the eyes of your children trust me.

bridgie101 03/17/2017

Don't keep this plan in reserve for a rainy day. That's not up to standard.

Stop faffing about on the useless end of despair toying with romantic dreams of your own death. How foolish. Jump off the damn cliff or move away from the bloody edge! But don't live your life there, on the edge, looking down. There are far more interesting things to do than that. And maybe if you move away from the edge, you won't find life so difficult.

You need to commit. Commit to living - or die. I watched to see if you would make the choice; I don't talk to dead people so I wasn't going to say anything till you made the choice. But now you STILL haven't made the choice. So I'm putting you on ignore.

muskrattiger 03/17/2017

I am very happy ..you have made these chouices for your self ....I think your friend was right .....no judgment here ....I keep you and your girls in my prayers ......God bless

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