Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I just needed to vent this here, to put it out there. I don't understand what happened with me, how I got into this situation and developed this problem. I must have been vulnerable to begin with. The long and short of it is that I got obsessed or maybe just overly focused on this guy. I didn't do anything about it, but it is a cause of discomfort and upset for me.
I don't know what started it. Maybe I was really upset about my breakup and looking for a replacement. I was really grieving over the boyfriend and was out one night quite a while back and met someone and later realized that I liked him. I guess I thought he liked me too as I got that general impression.
Well, nothing happened. I was disappointed. But I think I overread him being friendly toward me or flirtatious. I would see him once in a while at gatherings but was disappointed that it didn't go anywhere.
Here is the bad part. I started to want to avoid going to social things because he might be there. I reverted back to a high school frame of reference and got overly nervous about him. Not like me at me stage of the game. Got really scared to talk to him and be around him.
One night, I told myself to get over it and go visit my friends, whether he is there or not and get real and grow up. However, almost my worst fear came true. I kind could not help looking at him as he is so cute. I try to avoid it when he is nearby as it is rude, but I stole a gaze at him from really far away. Next thing I know his back is turned. Now perhaps I am reading into it but I just felt funny and then he walked past my friend and me without saying a word. I then felt really horrible. I never really talk to him or contact him or say anything but I started to feel like a stalker from just looking at him. And I thought about him a lot. Well, I liked him. Sometimes I looked at his facebook because I was interested in him, but then I felt bad doing that. Some of the pics came down and I started to feel like "did he know I looked at them?!" I sort of feel paranoid now even though my interest is pretty much gone and I don't even look at his FB anymore. Somehow it's like I never really did anything but I feel like he hates me. I know you can't tell who looks at your facebook page but all the same I feel paranoid. Why do I feel stuck on and fearful of him, it's almost like it's exaggerated by him seemingly purposely avoiding me. I feel bad and feel like if he ever asked me out now I would say no. I don't even think I want to be friends, not that that is going to be an issue anyway...
I don't know what started it. Maybe I was really upset about my breakup and looking for a replacement. I was really grieving over the boyfriend and was out one night quite a while back and met someone and later realized that I liked him. I guess I thought he liked me too as I got that general impression.
Well, nothing happened. I was disappointed. But I think I overread him being friendly toward me or flirtatious. I would see him once in a while at gatherings but was disappointed that it didn't go anywhere.
Here is the bad part. I started to want to avoid going to social things because he might be there. I reverted back to a high school frame of reference and got overly nervous about him. Not like me at me stage of the game. Got really scared to talk to him and be around him.
One night, I told myself to get over it and go visit my friends, whether he is there or not and get real and grow up. However, almost my worst fear came true. I kind could not help looking at him as he is so cute. I try to avoid it when he is nearby as it is rude, but I stole a gaze at him from really far away. Next thing I know his back is turned. Now perhaps I am reading into it but I just felt funny and then he walked past my friend and me without saying a word. I then felt really horrible. I never really talk to him or contact him or say anything but I started to feel like a stalker from just looking at him. And I thought about him a lot. Well, I liked him. Sometimes I looked at his facebook because I was interested in him, but then I felt bad doing that. Some of the pics came down and I started to feel like "did he know I looked at them?!" I sort of feel paranoid now even though my interest is pretty much gone and I don't even look at his FB anymore. Somehow it's like I never really did anything but I feel like he hates me. I know you can't tell who looks at your facebook page but all the same I feel paranoid. Why do I feel stuck on and fearful of him, it's almost like it's exaggerated by him seemingly purposely avoiding me. I feel bad and feel like if he ever asked me out now I would say no. I don't even think I want to be friends, not that that is going to be an issue anyway...
It's still not a crime to look at another person. If you got carried away and kept him in your sight for hours, it may have gotten on his last nerve, and you shouldn't go anywhere that he goes, but like yourself enough not to torture yourself over something that was n-o-t-h-I-n-g. Also, there are a ton of funny Pinterest quotes about peering into other people's lives on FB.
Give yourself a break :)
This quote's a bit haughty, imo, but I really like some of it and hope you do too.
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"The Beauty of Life is that although we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, fear, guilt or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love."