Depression Support Group
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just recently had a conversation with my high school sweetheart. of course it is a long, dramatic story (aren't all high school loves are) but basically he admitted her ended things due to peer pressure from his friends.
i had told him once i never felt welcome by them and so i responded, "aha! see! i told you they didn't like me."
he said, "not that they didn't like you, they just didn't accept you."
i asked him to elaborate but he claimed he couldn't remember.
this bugs the crap out of me. i know it shouldn't, but it really correlates with some personal issues i am having at the moment i guess. to this day if i am in a setting where these same people are present i still feel out of place, not sure why.
what made me unacceptable back then? am i still the same way now?
why aren't i accepted?
i had told him once i never felt welcome by them and so i responded, "aha! see! i told you they didn't like me."
he said, "not that they didn't like you, they just didn't accept you."
i asked him to elaborate but he claimed he couldn't remember.
this bugs the crap out of me. i know it shouldn't, but it really correlates with some personal issues i am having at the moment i guess. to this day if i am in a setting where these same people are present i still feel out of place, not sure why.
what made me unacceptable back then? am i still the same way now?
why aren't i accepted?
I've never really been a joiner, just always figured the "in" crowd was a pretty pathetic bunch. Taken individually, they were as dull as dishwater.
Hugs, hope you find peace of mind on this.
lately i am feeling a bit rejected by most people in my life and i am trying to figure out why. i try to be outgoing and friendly to everyone, so it hurts when it seems like that is good enough.
let me tell you something. i still go to highschool (Last year thank fucking god) but let me tell you something. High school, is built upon the bases of bias teachers, insecure girls, over hormonal guys, and the lovley mellowdramtics and soap opera's of, he siad, she said, and rumors.
Whats the purpouse of high school? acceptance of friends? walking across a stage of unessicary porpotions to grab a piece of paper and say you got it? please, high school, cliques and groups and useless insecure dip shits are nothing, but useless pieces of flesh.
they think there hot now or then, and that they were the gods gift to the world but let me tell you something. this is what keeps me going. I like to think of the mean or bitch girls, and preppy pieces of shit, are going to be old leather skin looking woman, with there multiple children around them, living in a shit town, in the shit place they swore they would escape.
for the guys i like to think they lost there "Perfect," jock physicqes and have grown a big beard, and gotten a beer belly and have a low paying job and are nothing more then the scum of the earth.
the only person that needs to accept you is YOU, once you say i am who i am and i love it and i can change what i want and be who i am forever, you'll be a happier person. who cares what others think, in the end you got live with yourelf.
live for you, be you, love you
Morose-Mary
i think here i am seeing more of how life in that aspect mirrors now and why. what have i yet to have learned?
Hugs Lexi
it does make me a little sad that he allowed them to influence them as he did. yeah, i know it was high school love... but we still have a goof friendship and bond even 10 years later. who knows what could have come out of things if they hadn't interfered?
but, i know he is married and happy. his son is absolutely precious! things are as they are for a reason - but sometimes you can't help but wonder, what if?