after our fight the other day, i just completely wasted the fourth of july...and now today, that he's gone of to work and my son has gone off to enjoy his summer, I am home alone, like I love to be...but I am feeling...DEPRESSED!...UGH...

I hate these feelings of depression...i have so much crap I have to do but I just can't get up to do it...i've been up since six thirty this morning and just wasted time on-line and done absolutely nothing...i feel so overwhelmed by everything that I have to do that I can't even get up out of bed...I just lay here...thinking about everything I have to do and not having the energy or motivation to get up and do it...and I can't even blame this on anyone...it's all me!...god help me please...someone anyone please help me...all I want to do is sleep...and I am so tired of sleeping...if i sleep, I'll be up all night...and then I get all these ideas and solutions to all my problems but when it comes time to follow through on all my shit...I don't, I can't , I don't feel like it...what the hell is wrong with me? and why can't I just get over this crap? why do i continue to feel like crap every single f'ing day...why GOD WHY?

-dr-