Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Mon.7/30/12 - UGH! Well I tried...but I'm back to feeling blah!...dead...I sit here hours at a time and do NOTHING!...Yeah...I cleaned the kitchen...took out the trash....cleaned the bathroom...then I made me some breakfast and sat down to watch 20 hours worth of the Olympics!! Before I knew it it was 4 o clock in the afternoon...finished the bathroom then went and took a shower to get ready for my Step Study Meeting...the husband came home at around 5:30...ate dinner...and then I went to my meeting...the Meeting was hard...didn't think it would be but it was hard...we had to talk about our Father...mine died when I was 7...I didn't like him...and didn't have to bother with him...haven't had to bother with him...until now!...I didn't realize how hard it would be for me to talk about him and my feelings about him...it's kinda sad...I don't have any feelings for him...but anyway...we finally made it out of there and now well I feel anxious and frustrated...and I want that drink...but I can't...and even if I could, I don't have any money...UGH!...anxious and frustrated again... Its so annoying this sick lifestyle...I have so much to do...but I don't do it...I'm not living...hell I'm barely existing...and I have no one to talk to except DS and God....and even if I did...I don't like talking to people...hell I don't think I even like people....I just want to be alone but if I'm alone I don't / can't do anything...it's like I don't care about anything...I know what I need to do...but I don't do it...and honestly I don't want to do it...i just want everything to fall in my lap...done....and I just want to do what I enjoy...but I can't cause I don't even know what that is...a friend of mine told me to get in my truck and just drive and cry and scream out to GOD...and while it sounds like a good idea...I can't do it....of course, I'd much rather climb on my motorcycle and go for a long ride to NOWHERE!...but I can't do that either...I don't have the $money$ to get it running...it's really crazy...I hate money...can't manage money for shit...don't want to work for money...but I sure do need money!!!...damn!...LIFE JUST SUCKS ... who knew that going into empty nest syndrome would just leave me without a purpose, ambition, motivation, or energy to do anything for myself!...God! why does life have to be so complicated? why can't it just be like it used to be? what am I supposed to do that I wasn't doing? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME GOD? WHY IS THIS SO HARD...IT SHOULDN';T BE THIS HARD...WHAT DO I DO?
I had a hard time with both, but I quit drinking 20 years before empty nest hit. Matter of fact, I quit when I got pregnant, so that seem normal. Hell, I followed my daughter to another state, that is how bad I had it. I didn't want to let her go. But, with empty nest came grandchildren. It made it easier to deal with.
Stick to your meeting, however, it may not seem so, but they will help you with everything.
See a dr if you have not already. If you have you may have to go back to get doses adjusted. Keep crying out to God, he does work miracle, I know this with all my heart. Also, dont be so hard on yourself, sounds like you did alot of cleaning, so people cant even do that.