I don't know how young you are. I am 59, and I have lived through many hardships. Currently, I am experiencing hardships, too. One good thing about the crap in life is that it proves to us that we can survive it and are stronger for doing so. There have been times when I felt like it just wasn't worth it, but then something good happened, and I was so glad that I didn't miss what I could have missed, had I not endured. When I was young, I wanted to have a baby, but I had three miscarriages. After the first one, I contemplated killing myself while my husband was at church. I then thought how much that would hurt him, and I felt so selfish for even contemplating doing so. He came home with a bunch of cards and a bouquet of dandelions from my Sunday school kids. I felt lucky. Really lucky. Please connect with other people. You will find people who will love you. Connecting with other people is what life is all about. We care for them, and they're there to care for us. And somehow, life gets much better.

Life does have hardships, but it's always rewarding getting through them in the end. And you've been trying hard for a long time. I think your efforts will pay off somehow. Please don't lose hope.

Mobly, you didn't say whether you have sought treatment for these. I hear your depression talking. It tells us all the same things, especially that there is no hope for us. It blanks out all the good things that have happened. Just how it does us. Healing and comforting hugs.

No one is a lost cause. You're reaching out, and that's a good thing. There is a part of you that is still fighting. You're such a strong person.

I hope you can continue to find something to hang on to. Because you are worth help and healing, and I know there is support here for you. There is so much love in the world, there's so much you have to offer. Please hang around just a while longer and let us help you out. You've found a light, so please don't give up now.

Hey, Mobly, my point is proven! You've got several people here who care about you and want you to heal and succeed. We are all connected, and we are here for each other.

I would like to thank everyone for the feed back, this is my first time reaching out besides just getting medication. Your replies mean a lot to me and it is something I have never experienced. Thank you all so much for the support.

Depression and anxiety disorders are very treatable. Medication is the most common, but there are other treatments for those who medication doesn't help. Talk to your doctor about it ... I am pretty confident you can be treated with success.

Dear, dear Mobly, there's a whole WORLD of people waiting to care about, and be cared for by, you. I am carrying you in my heart.

Getting treatment is CRUCIAL to dealing with depression. The first thing to do is to find a therapist you trust. Get evaluated; this may require time with other doctors to rule out physical things, and to do an indepth evaluation that not all therapists are trained to do.

Once you have a good diagnosis it is then possible to move forward!

For many of us depression can be "translated" into having behaviors that are a result of triggers we encounter. It can also be caused by, as WanderingVet said, to a chemical imbalance in your brain that may require medication for you to move forward.

Recognizing things that trigger us can be a HUGE key. Once we understand what the triggers are we can learn how they impact us, and what we can do to deal with it. Sometimes the only thing we can do is to avoid the triggers until we are stronger. (For example, if a person has a huge fear of cats, then avoiding them until they work out a way to deal with cats may be the best path.)

Gentle hugs

Thank you so much again for all of your support. I have been diagnosed, and I was given medication. However, I have a pride problem thinking I can solve it myself and that dumb mentality that medicine is weakness, even though it's not. So I got off of it and my anxiety has gotten so bad where I do not have a job or interviews without getting physically ill, which means no money for medication. I am simply on the path to suck it up so I can improve my life altogether.

@mobly.16 That's good to hear that you're giving medication a try

@SomeDepressedGuy I'm glad I finally am. I'm off it right now, I didn't realize how much it helped until I stopped taking it.

Hallo there, Glad you shared... sometimes all it takes is us coming forward with our story and we know that we will not be alone in this journey. We are here for you if you wanna just download. Glad you get back on track with your medication. Keep well and take care. God bless!

To Mobly.16. You are not alone. I too have had "the last resort" feelings. Even just posting your thoughts online is an achievement. Do you have someone you know and trust? Even feeling "lost" is a horrible feeling. I am in the same boat. Just like a onion, peeling away at the layers to the core. For me, I no longer have a family, and only a small handful of friends, and feel this big world is getting too big in reality. There are people who DO care, its finding the right ones. For me just listening to mellow music does help a bit and for me to help stay sane. Hope this helps. Hugs.

Mobly - I have lived with depression for a long time (I am 55 years old). We are glad that you reached out to tell your story. Do you have family you can turn to and trust? Maybe someone in your family will want to know what you are going through even if you are not sure right now? We are here for you to talk to, so you are not alone. Things can and will get better, just hold on.