Suffering from depression is horrible and I know what you are going through because I live this everyday as well. I'm sorry you are going through this. Whenever you are having your racing thoughts start writing these thoughts down, keep a journal. It helps. Try praying, it is soothing. As far as the money part: There should be organizations that can help you. Have you tried public welfare. If you make too much money there is a thing called a medical necessity. Do some research I'm sure you will find resources that can help you online. I'm here if you need to talk. I hope this helps. Sorry for everything.

Thanks! I've been keeping a journal. This online journal is somewhat helpful. I write poetry & that helps too, but nothing is helping the BIG picture. I have spent countless hours on this computer doing research, and I can't seem to find any help financially. I'm thinking about reaching out to the pharmaceutical companies for help with the medications, but as far as the health insurance is concerned, my case is being escalated, but this has been ongoing for 2 months now without insurance. There is some help with bills like rent, water, & electricity, but that's about it. Other bills such as my car payment are considered a luxury where I live, so there is NO help with that. I can't get public assistance because I do NOT have any children under the age of 18 living with me (that's how the system works, unfortunately). I'm technically self employed, but the money isn't enough & another job can't come soon enough. I've been on countless interviews. I'm just hopeless & tired. This depression is winning, it's in the lead. I don't think I'm going into OVERTIME either. I just want to give up.

You can't give up! Time after time I wanted to give up but my children are what keep me going. What about a medical necessity. That's what I fall under since I can't get insurance either. There has to be a way you can get your medication. Please don't give up....you can't let the depression win.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBSwA8pMgrA

Listen to this song. Josh Groban has helped me I know that sounds silly but it does help

In order for me to keep my doctor's appointment with my Neurologist for next week, I have to come up with $204 for this appointment just to find out what is going on with these migraines which may shed some light on this insomnia. In terms of the depression, I could go to the ER (specifically a center for Behavioral Health), but the wait times are usually 4 hours & then they still can't help with getting the medications. The one outreach program I know costs $20 to join (for the application fee) & the medication side of it, will ONLY cover medications that they see fit, so in other words, they won't cover medications like my Ambien, Klonopin, or Tizanidine. Currently, I'm not taking any medications for my depression because nothing wasn't working & my last psychiatrist said I pretty much have exhausted nearly everything for depression. Then, she & I came to a complete disagreement, so I stopped seeing her. I think that organization will cover my blood pressure meds, but I already hustled up money to get those medications. I wish I had a child or pet to keep me grounded because it's lonely on this side & I don't see a point anymore. Who am I staying alive for?

I appreciate your words of encouragement more than you know. I'm trying to look for a brighter side, but I don't see it right now. I don't want depression to win, but God isn't answering my calls right now! (I read Psalm 77) I'm clueless. Or maybe He has answered it & I'm not being patient enough; either way, these tears won't stop falling from my eyes from worrying about everything.

I will pray for you. Please just don't give up.... Give it some time please! I'm sorry for all you are experiencing.

That song was beautiful. The lyrics were beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for the prayers. I'm going to try to enjoy this weekend. Tomorrow is Holy Communion, so I hope to attend that, and give it some more time. I think I'm only buying time. I don't want to feel like I'm buying time on a borrowed dime, running up credit that I'm not sure I will be able to pay it back.

I hate seeing people struggle.
Is there anyway you can sell your car....and make enough on it to pay off the loan and buy a cheaper car? Or anyway you can take money from a retirement with a small tax hit and pay off the car? Car payments are a huge burden.

i'm glad you believe in God and search to the bible for relief...I went and found my bible....that my Mom had monogramed for me years ago...I never opened it...I wanted to see what Psalm 77 said.....I read it.....Move to Psalm 130. Thank you for getting me to open the bible...I too need some saving and guidance at this time in my life.

I'm very angry that at my age I am where I am....I worked hard all my life only to be struggling now? It seems unfair....but when I look back at my life....God has always got me thru the tough times...so we should not doubt that he will get us thru this too.

I hope you are able to enjoy some of this day...remember (I try) that all I can deal with is what has to be done today...the I guess I think about tomorrow...the bills...etc...the less panic and anxiety I feel.