I'm severly depressed and i'm going back to college soon. I have been getting back into old destructive habits and im trying to get help before I go away. I called up a few hospitals to see if I can get put on medication but they are all making me wait 1-3 months to speak with a physiatrist. I dont have that kind of time at most I have 2 weeks before I go back to college. I dont want to tell my mom because she doesnt want me on medication even though I know that is what I need. She is also spiritual and believes that god can fix it so its hard explainig mental illness to her in general. Not only that but she doesnt respond well to it. In the past when I have brought my mental illnesses to her she tends to respond with aggression or extremely insensitively. I just recently got out of a year and a half realationship which I told her about and she immediately consoled me by telling me not to hurt myself. I wasnt self harming over the course  of my relationship so in her eyes I was healed. But because this was so traumaic for me she immediately thinks that I want to kill myself or self harm. If I were to bring up my feelings now it would let her down. Not only that but her being in that mindset of her needing to "check" me for self harm scars to be on suicide watch isnt healthy for either of us or our relationship. I dont know what I should do I feel so trapped and alone. I have no friends because my lover was my friend and overall im just feeling really hopeless. I feel like it is only a matter of time before I get back into cutting and other bad habits. Please help if you can tell me what to do.