Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Trapped

AmericanOnline
AmericanOnline

Hello. 



Ive never joined a support group before, but I'm really struggling with a whole host of issues, so I thought I'd give this a try. Just to quickly summarize, I'm 31, legally blind, in college, and I've suffered with severe depression since 15. I also have social anxiety and a very difficult family situation. I have a ten-year-old son who was taken from me because of my disability, lack of resources to defend myself, and his mother's mental health and substance abuse issues. She abandoned us after my son's first birthday, and my parents subsequently adopted him. I'm staying with my parents while I attend college, but watching other people raise my kid is excruciatingly painful to deat with. My parents are decent people, but their parenting skills are severely lacking. I'm living in a new state, and I hate it here. I feel completely trapped and alone. My parents ruined my life, and they're doing the same to my son. I genuinely fear for his mental and emotional well being. I'm barely hanging on. Thanks for reading. 

BCat1000
BCat1000
Thanks for posting. You have a number of things to address. First, kudos on going to college. Second, it must be a difficult situation, Even though you have a disability, you are still his father. Regardless of who is formally in charge of his well-being, he will still look to you for guidance. You say your parents are decent people, help them become better caregivers to your son. Talk to them about it in a constructive way. They love you unconditionally even though they could use a little work in the parenting department. Even though you have mixed feelings about your parents, they love you and your son. They took you and your son into their home. That matters despite their failings. Keep your head up, going to a new state is always hard. You will meet people in time. You still have your son and parents. That's more than some have. Just out of curiously, how did they ruin your life? I hope this helps a little.
AmericanOnline
AmericanOnline
Thanks for replying. They ruined my life by making me feel like an incompetent burden while simultaneously emotionally abusing me. My dad's torment fomented my anxiety and made me extremely self-critical. I'm somewhat gifted academically, but my achievements were met with indifference, while my lapses in judgement were greatly exaggerated and used to keep me from forming a healthy opinion of myself. They provided me with basic necessities, but empathy and understanding were rare commodities in my home. They made me so averse to confrontations, that they didn't meet my son's mother until Christmas Eve when she was four months pregnant. My friend's mother told them about the pregnancy because I am so self-conscious that I couldn't say anything that would rock the boat.
unostock
unostock
My advice is to finish school and get a good job so that you have the resources for yourself and your child. When you have that then try and reclaim your child legally, in the mean time be the best parent to your child, he is yours not your parents, so be his best buddy. If you are just starting college and are going to be away for many years then transfer to a college where you can see your son every week even daily and be his best bud.