Hi. With Daily Strength you are never alone. You can find lasting close bonds here in this group. I understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately pain feeds depression and depression feeds pain. Try to step outside of yourself by volunteering. Will give you a chance to meet people and will take ur mind off of your pain/depression. Lots of love

I understand and agree with your comment about not wanting to speak with a therapist. Have had anxiety/depression and social issues for 40 years. Learn to find help for yourself. The best things for me have been reading, music and going to the library. Just being at the library with people will help you gain strength in other social situations. Be cautious in expectations of using these things to help. Recovery takes time.

I am sorry you feel down forgotten forsaken alone lonely and I am guessing ready to give up, I can relate . lately with seeing folks my age in the media die of cancer and the icon I adored not delivering the first female pres well I got in a slump. I hope I can encourage you. I am a 2 time survivor of b cancer. I know pain. I know loss . I know being forgotten. These are painful things and you don't mention family. I can only empathize. I have early morning depression and it relates to being alone. I want you to know I cannot take your pain away. Sometimes we cannot volunteer. sometimes our life and our pain don't allow us to give anything rather be immersed in our situation . it is called debilitating disability . I know everyone cannot just get up and go or help at a soup kitchen. it is not simply depression but related to physical disability . I cant give u sympathy but empathy. Some sugguestions call prayer lines. Stay connected. Pray. just respond to folks on here and encourage them, Do what you can.. and I know it can help . this is your lifeline. Some people don't know what it is like to just be living on lifelines,, I am hearing your pain today and saying a prayer ,, Hope it helps

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Sending prayers.

I too have struggled with being painfully shy in my life. When I was younger it inhibited me from making friends and enjoying many of the things I actually liked doing. I can say there is one reason I have been freed from my fears today, and it is because of Jesus Christ. I am not trying to take the place of a counselor, I am only acting out of love and experience. I'll be praying.

thank you all for your thoughtful responses ! dearest akacountrygirl , I can hardly walk or stop crying long enough to volunteer ! I try not to dwell on my issues but they are getting systematically worse . Additionally , I don't drive due to severe PTSD so getting out at all is nearly impossible . I am not a self-centered person but don't fel I have it in my heart at this juncture to be a positive help to anyone ! deardjchurn , I adore the library but do have a hard time navigating since I am so unsteady on my feet even with my cane . I cannot concentrate in the least to listen to music or read . my mind just wanders to sadness . I do manage to go to some free events like concerts etc . when I can but sitting for more then a 1/2 hour is tough ! it would be my dream to participate at the library more fully ! dearest rainbowlegacy55 , you blow me away with your courage , strength and understanding . you definitely get me . I am holding on tight but each day is worse . sometimes , I wonder where God is even though I am a strong believer and pray constantly . thank you so much for your empathy ! Heidiclark , thank you for taking the time and heart to care ! Sequitur328 , it is so refreshing to hear from someone who can relate to the pain of shyness . Both of my parents wee mentally ill and could never teach me the many coping skills I could truly use right now . if they were well , maybe I could have at least avoided the shyness . I do pray but was never even raised with spirituality so it is sometimes difficult for me to believe all the time . I am so happy for you ! wish we could be friends so you could share more of your wonderful experience . thanks for responding ! I would appreciate any and all responses any members have . you have made me feel less invisible and cared for and I give you all my warmth for that ..

So, here's a thought: doctors are limited in their knowledge. They tell their patients what they THINK!! When diagnosing a patient, they might tell them "You have only _____ time." But, that is if they keep up the life style they have right now. So, the patient only hears the bad news. They don't recognize the good news. Things can change. But, the patient gives up! "I heard what the doctor said!!"

God is in control. What the doctor said is not always the way it will be. DON'T GIVE UP!!!

I understand this might seem a little of topic. But, for me, it relates! Some people decide "Well...it's too hard to try any more." So...they give up trying! Don't be one of those people.

Go outside...listen to the birds...watch the leaves change color....LIVE LIFE!!!

God is in control.

Another thought...during the test, the teacher is silent...but, there!!!

dearest MaryTurk , in my long life as being a chronic pain patient , I have never given up my own control very my mind or body . I don't believe drs. are gods . there is only one . in fact , I think most drs . are highly over rated and lack the human and humane touch ! I am unfortunately unable to appreciate the beauty around me right now . Too raw to even see it or feel it which of course adds to the sadness and self-pity . time is the only answer but living like this is a torture I never could fathom and I need it to end . I have no quality of life at the moment . thank yo for acknowledging my post .. many blessings for your thoughtfulness ..

To; mysensitiveheart.. I know what you're feeling because I wake up every day wondering why I'm even alive too, I can't give you any good advice as to how to help dealing with it but I can give you the simple comfort of letting you know that you're not alone in this battle between your heart, your mind and your body. I just found this website today so I'm probably not very good at this but I'm gonna try, ok? I'm 23 years old and I have had depression since I was 11, My parents had a very bitter divorce when I was 9 because my dad had many girlfriends during my mom's pregnancies to me and my brother and continued until she got the courage to leave when I was 9 (though he didn't make it easy) and he was physically and emotionally abusive to my mom, me and my brother. In 8th grade, a very very good and close best friend to my brother and I killed himself and that was the first time I even thought about suicide. That's when I got into drugs and skipping school, my brother was already an addict and I never thought I would do anything like that but things got worse and I tore all the tendons and ligaments in my leg playing soccer and I couldn't play anymore and then I was diagnosed with bipolar depression. My brother used me knowing that I always saved all my money I ever got for college and made me feel welcome and included in his group of friends but in reality he just pretended to be my friend so he could talk me into using my saved up money (which was a little more than $2,000 dollars that I kept locked in a safe from him) and as soon as the money ran out, so did he. Then I was in a terrible accident and suffered long term pain in my neck and back which made me turn to drugs even more because they helped with the pain, eventually I got help and was a year and a half clean. But then I got terrible anxiety and my depression got so bad that I was mad at God for saving me in that car accident! Which is just crazy because I realize now that he saved me for a reason. My brother and his ex had a baby while using drugs and DCF told me and my mom that he would be placed in foster care and we decided to take him and officially adopt him. I have had many people in my life that I loved like family but they all eventually left for someone/something better. And like you said, even therapists have messed me up more by bringing up what we talk about in private and telling others in our group meetings about things they said were just between us and I already had trust issues so that really made it worse and I just wanted to die and be done with it all but I could never bring myself to fully do it so I turned to self harm, but once I got the RIGHT help, I was able to stop hurting myself with the drugs and self harm and now I'm starting to feel like I'm actually doing some things right by taking care of my nephew, who was 3 months when we officially got him and he's now 2 and a half and I would do anything for that little boy. I'm working and bought my first car with my own money and I am little by little trying to put myself back together. Don't get me wrong though, I recently relapsed one night and ever since then I find myself slipping back into that black hole of loneliness, self hatred, embarrassment, self pity, anger, anxiety depression and plenty of other emotions that I don't even know how to put into words. But God put us all here for a reason and I choose to believe that it's to tell our stories to others and come together and help people in our path. I really hope that you can try to find the good in all this bad and I pray that you can keep holding on and fight the darkness every day, please don't let it hold you down.

Dearest Goodvibes , I feel so much empathy for you .Your life hasn't been fair but it is wonderful that you are a survivor . I feel bad that you have slipped but we are all just human and are subject to imperfections . I wish you didn't feel hatred for yourself . You should instead remember the incredible progress you have made and the impact you are making on a little one who probably feels your love constantly . I am in awe of your selflessness towards him and you need to share those feeling with yourself . You should be so proud of the incredible progress you have made and that in itself should help you with pride and self-love . Your little nephew is so lucky to have you and your unconditional love ! My younger days are very similar to yours and I feel an instant connection with you . I am sending you a friend request , but really think it over . I have a lot of issues to deal with and I need to know my friends , not just be names on their lists . To me , that requires a lot of sharing and taking the time and heart to really care ! I already consider you a hero ! Very bad pain day for me but I have an appointment I cant miss . It will be difficult since my legs from top to bottom have been numb and are starting to feel like they are on fire . It will be difficult to navigate even with my cane . Only relief I can find is laying down , so I have been in bed for 2 days straight which I realize is actually terrible for my mind and body .. (more complaining!) Well sweetheart , thank you so much for caring so much that you responded to my post and shared some of your story with me ! Hoping we will be close friends and comfort for each other ! Many hugs !

I would love to be friends :) like I said, I'm very new to this lol but also just thank you for all your kind words and I really hope the doctor's can help find you some relief with your pain and I hope to hear from you soon. I'll be praying for you and I'll talk to you soon :)

I understand what you're feeling and share your feeling of loneliness. Remember though, you're never really alone - God is always with you. Hugs to you :)

dearest withgodallispossible , it wasn't that long ago that I would genuinely believe as you do , My life started so difficultly . I had many medical problems as a child and was not raised with God in my life at all . I lead a very scary existence being "raised" by a bi-polar mother & a father who enabled her & had no time to love his children . I wont go on & on but my life emotionally & physically has been horrific with no guidance . I have come close to death many times , sometimes by my own hands . I craved of and made a pat with him . I converted to Christianity many , many years ago . The structure , fellowship and my own probably very unique relationship saw me through some very intense times , many of them relating to Chronic Pain . I have more disorders/illnesses then I care to count and last year I fractured my spine . My faith would only momentarily was questioned . It is now a different story , I have never suffered like this , cry constantly , take narcotics that barely take the edge off and wake up to new symptoms nearly every day. I cannot drive due to severe PTSD due to a near death crash that did irreparable damage to my entire body ! Now though I no longer see or feel God around me . I feel abandoned ! No one should have to live this way . I am basically a recluse with no life of any substance ahead of me . My neurosurgeon said I was a very complex case ! It was nearly funny . I'm not sure I can take much more of this existence unless God returns and saves me !