It's been 4 weeks since I was sexually assulted, I was then thrown out my home. That was a difficult day for me, I felt as if I lost EVERYTHING that did... I lost my peace and security, I lost protecting my little sister, I lost going to school, I lost seeing my best friend and going out, I lost dancing in my room and writing outside in the sun, I lost taking walks around the town and meeting new people, I lost feeling happy and in control of my own life...these are things that meant the world to me and these are the things that I'll never get back. Worst of all I lost my mother...my own mother didn't believe me when I told her that her boyfriend sexually assulted me, she called me "crazy" and said I tried to "sabotage her relationship", she picked some pervert over her own child, her own fleesh and blood, tell me how can a mother do that? How does something like that happen? I guess I'll never know the answer to that question.Anyway today is Mother's Day and it is my first mother's day without a mother (I have my grandmother but she doesn't celebrate the holiday). In the past I would make art to give to my old mom or write poems about how much I loved her, today when I think about it I guess it didn't really mean anything to her like I didn't mean anything to her...I tried not thinking about I've tried telling myself "it's just one stupid day" but it's hard when all on tv I see all the girls talk about there mother, on social media I see all my friends posting about their moms, when I look out the window I can hear/see children delievering ballloons and flowers to their moms and I just think to myself I'll never do that again, I was the only one out of my sisters who went out of my way to make my mom feel special on Mother's Day but now that isn't my job anymore. How could my mother just give up on me after everything I did for her? Why didn't she love me? Why didn't she care? Why didn't she support me? Why didn't she believe me? Why are there "mothers" out there like this? I know I'm not the only one...there's other people I see upset out this day because they also have abusive mothers but they seem to handle it so well like it doesn't bother them and I'm not saying that they should be depressed and dwelling on the subject but it's so strange how normal it is to them, they handle it perfectly...I'm kind of jealous... I'm a highly sensitive person so I'm always intune with my emotions so I don't know if this will ever be normal for me...I don't if I'll ever get to the point in my life when I could just go about this day without feeling depressed and sad.