of course you like it. why would any of us do it if we didn't like it? those who deny the comfort in it don't understand it.

i'm not saying you should or shouldn't do it. i have no room to talk either way.

yeah same here I cannot argue for or against it
I cannot help but feel proud when one cut manages to bleed a lot more than the others.
It is just the sight of the blood that pleases me
more of a compulsive behavior now ech time
draw more blood

I hate to see you talk so negatively about yourself. You're not a pile of shit. I'm sure there are people close to you that love you. Your going through a bad time and ugly thoughts are expected. Please hang in there.

No shit! What the hell listen to yourselves. It can't feel good all the time and you know it. Pull your heads out of your a-- and go get some help. This is horrible. Do yourself a favor and your loved ones and get some meds and some good counseling. Holy shit whats the is world coming too????

you schould be able to talk about what you need to talk about in here ..but you have to know that people are going to try and help ...in the only way they think they can ..............now having read these posts ......I don't know if you all have gone for help ...if not you need to if you are on meds than it is time to have them adjusted ....I had to get my meds adjusted several times ....and now I am doing well enough I am getting off of some .....I am not a cutter ....but ..I could of gone that way ....to me watching your blood run is the deapest ...way to cry ...correct me if I am wrong ....but when I have cut my self and was very depressed ...that is what I thought ...you are letting go of somthing of your self and you can see it feel it ....but you have to fight ....it .......all the way ....it isent the way to fight your depreshion ...it doesent work in the long run .....so I encourage you to get help .......take very good care of your self ...God bless

Sorry for what you are going through; I can imagine how tough it gets sometimes. I don't think cutting is the answer-in spite of how it makes you feel. There people who care about you, and want to see you get better. Somebody asked if you are getting help, and I agree with that; getting help would be a step towards wellness. You are valuable to society, friends and family, as well as those of us on this board. There are several hotlines out there (such as the Hope Line), for when you need to talk; please, try that alternative. Here for you. All the best.

My mom has tried and tried again to get help. but they do not even bother to pick up the phone.
and I do not want some Mormon therapist shoving Jesus at me, besides I am a big sin to them for simply existing,

there are plenty of therapist who will not shove any religion at you ...as it schould be .........you are not a sin for existing ....but the very opisit .....we are blessed that you are with us .........you have a kind heart ....you speak your truth ..even if some won't like it ..........I will continue to keep you in my prayers .........take very good care of your self ....God bless

Leeche, try to help your mum out. How much can she take? I don't know how I would take it if my child cut herself. It would break me.

If you can't stop for your own sake, are you able to reduce it, or do something else that doesn't leave lasting scars? The desire to see blood sounds like OCD, and the release of pain sounds like endomorphines, but I can tell you this one for free:

you're not resolving your issues cutting. Cutting won't help you be treated better, or help you get along with your friends. Cutting won't give you that job, it won't teach you how to raise your children.

Cutting is avoidance. It's escapism. And those things always bite you in the arse in the end. You think it's helping: it's helping about as much as marajuana, which is to say, it's not helping. It's deferring. It's causing you a giant stockpile of unresolved maturational issues. Where we should be enduring our daily dose of emotional pain, digesting it, internalising it, learning from it: you're stopping that process. And it builds. it only builds.

Allan Carr has a wonderful visual in his quit smoking book that really spoke to me. he said, imagine you have a pimple. And you buy a cream that promises to take that pimple away immediately. You put it on and the pimple's gone.

tomorrow though, it's back. Slightly larger. You put on the cream again and it goes away.
Tomorrow though, it's back. Slightly larger. You put on the cream and it goes away again...
But tomorrow it's back.. and it's larger....

The cream is over the long term increasing the pimple, not decreasing it. At some point you are going to have to stop putting on the cream, and live through the horror of giant pimple from hell exploding onto your face.

And every day you put the cream on makes that pimple increase.

That's what's happening with the cutting. You're not improving your life. You're making it worse for yourself. You're building a giant backlog of horrors.

You can get through them of course, if you get stuck in: and you'll get through them fine because you're bright, and have a lot of gumption. But try not to make your life too much worse before you decide to make it better.

xx

I personally do not care if I get along with my friends
they are all gone now
I always predicted I'd die alone
so no surprise there
I have given nothing to this world, nobody needs me.
besides...I do not think actually wanting to torture someone is healthy.
You know what they say
a fish rots from the head down
so cut off the head before it can spead
:V

Bollocks leeche. :p that's just romance.

You are young. Young people often feel old. Old and close to death. I think that's so that they'll make good war fodder. Goodness knows how many young people die due to this, and have done throughout the ages. Romanticising an early end. Your mother couldn't cope. She'd crash and burn. I speak for your mother when I say this. You would end her.

Conversely, old people often feel young. I feel younger and younger each year. I get more and more cheerful. I wonder what causes this? Perhaps the older we get the fewer ideas about who or what we should be we have. The more content we are to just be ourselves, without analysis or judgement, or envy. I ask for less and less each year. And I get it. :D

If you have a spare three hours, maybe less if you're a quick reader, go read "Candide" by Voltaire. It's a short novella. where they suddenly start talking philosophy just flip the page back to the action. And what action! War, famine, rape, murder... shangri la where the streets are made of gold...

And of course the moral to the story on the last page. It was a very formative book for me. it really spoke to me. Maybe you'll like it?

What really makes me feel old and weak is this stupid chest binder.
kinda hard to feel young and free when you cannot even take deep breaths lol
I kinda cannot read actually
i can and im quick at it but it can get painful
cannot think too much :,)