I hate how alone I feel. I hate the things that my mind tells me. I am viewed as a strong woman because of the way I carry myself, but no one really knows how I'm dying inside. The war that goes on daily to push past these ill feelings. It makes me sad how easily I can be let go of, forgotten. How no one fights for me. There's a saying, "If your absence doesn't affect them, your presence never mattered." It's sad that my absence doesn't seem to effect the people I invest in. I know that everyone is dealing with stuff, and I'm not trying to have a pity party, but it's sad when you just don't feel valued. I know I'm a good woman, a good person. And I treat people good. Regardless of how detached I am, I am kind, giving and considerate of others. I am far from a people pleaser and I really don't care about who likes me and who doesn't. I absolutely do value myself and know what I bring to the table. But it seems that no matter how good of a friend or woman or whatever, others just don't appreciate, value, or cherish it. I am very much alone all the time. I do my best to be of good spirits when around others because I'm not trying to spread the gloom. But I'm tired of this lonely place that I so often find myself. I'm tired of always feeling that if I'm not the one putting in that work, there's nothing. My presence matters as long as I'm the one who makes it matter. I'm just exhausted. I'm tired of lonely and alone being my closest friends.