Last night I thought I was pretty okay. Nothing major happened. I did get some answers I think on this whole situation I am going through. But when I started to go to bed I began to really consider suicide. Of finding a bridge and jumping off. Of how i need to add an heir to my bank account. Of how I would park the car and leave notes. BUT I DON"T WANT TO! I cried. I screamed. I cried. The only thing keeping me from doing it is how would the boys handle it. Then I begin to think the family is right, that the boys would be better off without me. I can't take the fighting anymore. I did nothing to deserve this. I cannot go on like this. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow. Gotta make it till then...I have to make it through one more screwed up night. (cry)
Posts You May Be Interested In
So for some time now, I have come to terms with the fact that I am dealing with depression. It has been a hard road. It started with the hardest heartbreak I have ever had to deal with and spiraled from there. At first, I dealt with the initial emotions that come with heartbreak; sadness, anger, regret, etc. I cried a lot. I barely ate. I cut myself off from the world. Then, subconsciously, I...
I have had a long history of depression . I have talked about my shoplifting and alcoholism. I have a history of silly communication in work. Saracatic texts. When people dont respond I sent an anoymous e mail to somebody in work giving out about an event. She figured out it was me.Im suicidal now. I have a son. Now im thinking of ending my life