Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have no desire to be here, I have to be here and I am hate it.
I am unhappy always, I haven't gone away because I have stupid connections to people who I don't believe care that much - but I am confused about it, so I guess I'm asking...?
Everything you hope for, fails.
Everyone you love, you care about, leaves you.
Every dream you have, every hope or ambition, fails, because they were dumb in the first place and you could never hope to be the person who would achieve anything.
I know, I have grown old, and failed at everything, I don't see it getting better, I have hated my life and who I am ever since I remember.
I don't believe there is a happy future for me, but, I know there are other people who are happy who because they have to, care about me.
How do you keep going? I know why you have to, but I guess you are like, happiness is gone, so.... how?
I wake up, wanting to have died, I walk out my house and through roads wanting to get hit, I stand by my train and I want to jump onto the tracks, I spend every moment at work thinking about and planning how to die, I come home and I don't sleep, wishing myself dead.
I have felt this for over a decade and I don't know how to change, I wake up wanting to die, I only hear https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP06kxW_M3I
I have no choice but to be here... I have seen the pain suicide causes, but I don't know how you find the strength to keep going when it is all shit :( I feel so sad and alone.
I am unhappy always, I haven't gone away because I have stupid connections to people who I don't believe care that much - but I am confused about it, so I guess I'm asking...?
Everything you hope for, fails.
Everyone you love, you care about, leaves you.
Every dream you have, every hope or ambition, fails, because they were dumb in the first place and you could never hope to be the person who would achieve anything.
I know, I have grown old, and failed at everything, I don't see it getting better, I have hated my life and who I am ever since I remember.
I don't believe there is a happy future for me, but, I know there are other people who are happy who because they have to, care about me.
How do you keep going? I know why you have to, but I guess you are like, happiness is gone, so.... how?
I wake up, wanting to have died, I walk out my house and through roads wanting to get hit, I stand by my train and I want to jump onto the tracks, I spend every moment at work thinking about and planning how to die, I come home and I don't sleep, wishing myself dead.
I have felt this for over a decade and I don't know how to change, I wake up wanting to die, I only hear https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP06kxW_M3I
I have no choice but to be here... I have seen the pain suicide causes, but I don't know how you find the strength to keep going when it is all shit :( I feel so sad and alone.
Sorry I have made my own message the lowest on the board - karma in action!
This has got slow huh?
"From the bottom of my heart I desired to surrender myself to the sleep of oblivion. If only oblivion were attainable, if it could last forever, if my eyes as they closed could gently transcend sleep and dissolve into non-being and I should lose consciousness of my existence for all time to come, if it were possible for my being to dissolve in one drop of ink, in one bar of music, in one ray of colored light, and then these waves and forms were to grow and grow to such infinite size that in the end they faded and disappeared -- then I should have attained my desire.
Sadegh Hedayat, The Blind Owl
I hope no longer.
I care. I can assure you that the people in this group care. This a wonderful group of kind and caring people who unfortunately have in common this horrible thing called Depression. Yes, we all suffer to varying degrees and some with other things in addition to Depression.
I wish I could answer your questions for you. I really can't, but I will tell you that I'm so sorry you are feeling the way you do and that you feel hopeless. I hope that you CAN find hope for the future . For better days. It's not easy, I understand that, but maybe you can find some joy in even the smallest of things and build on that. I am truly sorry you are feeling like this. I wish you peace and I wish you healing.
(((((((((((( COMFORTING HUGS )))))))))))))
LMT
It is odd, I know I am on a depression board, but as always I am reluctant to share my depression or speak.
I was on here a few years ago and could hardly speak to anyone because of all the bickering so it's kind of good that's stopped, but, it'd be nice to just say "I feel really shitty today" and be able to speak...
I don't know - I know I shouldn't ask but could anyone recommend somewhere I could find someone to just listen for a moment? I am in the UK, but the Samaritans are useless and I can't speak to NHS.
I don't know the people on hear now, but was on here a while ago (I remember both of you who have replied), but I know it is mainly US people - I am in the UK, I am not rich, and cannot afford private healthcare - the provision for help where i live (In London) is basically, will you kill yourself or other people, I would never hurt anyone else but have tried to kill myself a few times already, halfheartedly (I foolishly joked about how easy it would be to do to a doctor when they wouldn't give me sleeping pills and had to climb out a window to stop them locking me away) But I cannot say this because if I do, I go to hospital and pretty much cannot work again, and cannot afford then to live.
I have tried medication, it made me really really sick and psychologically had really bad impact - the only time I have ever taken knives to my arms is on medication - so I am reluctant to take it without having soeone to speak to. But I cannot speak to someone unless I can pay a lot of money....
So I'm stuck, I can't die, I can't really live, I just wake up everyday and I wish I would have died.
I have a small family, of around 10 of us, 4 killed themselves, 2 wear electrocuted for mental health problems, a few died of cancer or heart problems, so the 3 or so I have left I really don't want to bring up my problems too... (basically my mum and dad, also they are unwell as well)
I am deformed, ugly and useless so I have no friends or partner....
so it's just me, I just need some strength to make it through long enough to die without hurting anyone.
Try not to be concerned about not having a partner, they probably don't deserve you anyways :)
There's a strong clique on here but I stopped that nonsense in high school luckily and can't be bothered. Can you exercise? Exercise works well to beat depression, much better than big pharma imho!
Wow. I don't believe that's true . I believe you will get alot of support. keep posting.. I do think the group may be slower because of Holidays.. but post.. talk to us...
Sending you comforting hugs xo