Call a suicide hotline or go to the emergency room at a hospital. If you think you might act on your thought.

Is there someone you can talk with? Having those thoughts are really uncomfortable I would think and I hope you are able to talk to someone about it. Even just posting them on here can really help
I hope things improve for you soon

You are not worthless. Your human and going through a rough time. Reach out as best you can - to anyone - especially us here. We know your pain. Sending prayers your way.

The thoughts of having my kids make me sad since they won't have a dad. But giving them to family that have both makes me sad.. I'm so torn on what to do. I feel like taking the easy way out....but there's always a but..... and I want to hurt my husband for doing this....

Omg don't. I am going through the same. Please let's talk

Have you considered a women's shelter for abused women/mothers. You can bring your children and the staff will help you with whatever is distressing you and take care of your children while you are being helped. The staff there is very familiar with any problems you are facing. and this way you aren't facing them alone. There are also other mothers there in the same boat as you which is wonderfully strengthening.
Please either check in to the hospital or a women's centre. Stay focused away from violence until then, write down your feelings on paper over and over to distract away from action till you are in a safe environment.

This will pass. Don't do this, okay? Be patient with yourself. You are not alone.

I'm thinking about telling someone today about. I'm just afraid of going back in... but I know I will because I am really considering it and that ticks me off... I hate set back..

I’m new to this site, but I’ve been reading your story and wanted to let you know I care about you. I saw this post a few days ago, and you have been on my mind. How are you doing?

Getting more help doesn't mean you are having a setback. In fact you have probably made more headway than you realize. I have been taking antidepressants for 25 years and could never really find anything that worked. Then a couple of weeks ago I started taking a lot of supplements and that is helping. Here's what I take: a multivitamin, gingko biloba, Vitamin D3, B complex, Calcium, Magnesium, iron, and garlic. You don't have to take exactly what I am taking but at least look in to supplementing if your meds. aren't working. They aren't a cure, but the do help.

I'm stilling wanting to hurt myself.. I've been thinking about adopting out my girls but I want to be selfish and kill myself so I don't have to feel anymore pain and don't want to see theirs pain.. I know it selfish..... I'm never gonna be a caregiver anymore so what's the point....

whiny. put your head down and realize the only thing that make you special are your children, grow up

I don't know what to tell you. You clearly need some help, maybe long term hospitalization. I don't know, but I know you don't want to hurt anyone. Get the help you need. You're already considering getting rid of your kids, so how will more time in hospital hurt anything? Tell someone local who can help what you are thinking and feeling. There's no help if you don't reach out.

I would have to agree with toomuch. You have nothing more to lose and the only way to go is up. Get whatever help you need for as long as you need it. And don't be in too much of a hurry to give up your kids. I remember a previous post from you when you were talking about how much you loved your kids. I believe that love is still there buried underneath all that suffering

How are you doing struggling16? Did you get help? I hope you are ok