After 35 years of happiness, an aborted problematic move, my wife has seeming treatment resistant depression.  One challenge is a seeming family antipathy towards depression and a reluctance to reveal things and instead minimize problems.  Additionally she has some minor physical problems, but no serious issue has been noted in multiple physical exams and testing. 

My oldest and youngest son were upset, at the lack of progress and her propensity to call them repeatedly during the day; both are high-level corporate executives.  Personally my wife has become insecure and posessive and does not want me to go anywhere alone and she wants to stay home.  This was unlike her, and 30 years of marriage we were each independent. 

1. Acknowledgment  Both children assertively say enough is enough and they want her to acknowledge severe depression and anxiety as a first step towards recovery.  Neither wants these calls in the middle of the day to talk about pleasantries and hide the serious problems.  Both sons have undergone therapies and are strong proponents of acknowledging and addressing problems.     

2. Physical issues Again therapy, with multiple people has been ineffective.  However, she has gone through a good 5 therapists without making real progress.  One problem is deflection.  Typically sessions are 45 minutes, and the therapist arrives 5 minutes later, and there's 5-10 minutes of pleasantries.  Frequently during the session my wife will say part of the problem is she's not feeling well, the therapist responds to her concerns, how do you feel, have you spoken with the doctor, may you call him, blah, blah, blah.  Boom, we've blown another session.   We don't need a therapist to start evaluating feet or thyroid without an examination. 

I've told my wife I will take her to whatever doctors she wants and she has resisted various tests and appointments.  I drove 2 and 1/2 hours into New York to see a specialist and as we were about to go, she said she didn't want to go. 

So I'd to have a rule no discussion of physical problems, let's just deal with the depression and anxiety and underlying causes that the therapist addresses. 

3. Talk to your former self  Has anyone seen Stutz, Jonah Hill's great documentary about therapy.  One scene has Jonah talking to a picture of his former self, an about 270lb unhappy teenager.  We need to hear from him Dr. Stutz explains.  I'd like my wife to do something like this, and speak to the self part who would not buy a house and let us to a journey into multiple rentals and not particularly welcoming family and friends (when are you people leaving, I thought it was supposed to be yesterday, did you check on the status of your construction, note when other people stayed at our home, we had no rules, welcoming everyone, my mother-in-law stayed 3 years, a friend with a severely disabled spouse 2 months and tried to make it a party but the experience was not that on the other side).