If you rigidly control your expectations of yourself then you can live up or down to them. Sounds like you are doing the latter.

Get yourself into situations where you can meet your expectations. Then you can work on raising your expectations and getting used to taking a bit longer than you might have thought to meet them.

And make your expectations positive.

Gentle hugs

Sweetheart,

I Hear You.........And I Can Promise You That You Are None Of Those Awful Things.

You Are A Young Man Who Is Worthy Of Love And Compassion.
You Are Important.
You Are Amazing.
You Are Needed.
You Are Loved.

Please Be Kind To Yourself.

(((((HUGS))))))

a141994

No way! Guess what? THIS is part of winning. THIS is part of growing and getting better. You have to walk through the fire first. THIS IS IT! If you keep fighting, you'll see a day made just for YOU, and you'll be in awe of it. But, you have to continue to look for that light, not the dark.

Trust. THIS is the path to the good. No one gets it the first time.

Sounds like you are trying to live up to the expectations of someone else. Your parents? A naggy girlfriend? Someone else whom I can't think of right now? It sounds a LOT like you are. You sound a lot like I did when I was trying to live up to my parents expectations, but I was never good enough for them. They called me a lot of the names you call yourself. Try living up to your own expectations and start slow at first. It doesn't happen over night. It takes practice and work. It took me several years to get to where I am now, but the rewards are fantastic. It is true that they don't teach you how to lose, but once you live up to your own expectations, you don't have to try and win, you just do.

We can't change what we don't acknowledge, however, you are none of the following: a dumb person, lazy, and any other negative word you call yourself. The more we think negative about ourselves, the more negative we become and the harder it is to look in the mirror and say, "You know what, I'm okay"... Would you try that for me? I love this saying and I read it all the time when I look at it.
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise then saved by criticism. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are a lot more special then you give yourself credit for. Hugs GB

My own truth is that the hardest things to change in life are those problems which are "unbearable" yet "bearable" enough to live with.

truth and patience are very valuable aspects of life but not given -- you need to work hard to achieve them and then work hard again.

I'm 57 and still trying to help my hurt little kid grow up -- she is growing in some ways but lets say some lessons are taking a long time to learn.

I am sorry that you are going through this. It's hard being a millenial in this messed up world.

If we were perfect then we would never learn. I don' t care what a person's IQ is, high, low or medium--we all learn through practice.

Therefore, if you lose at something it either means that you need to keep pracising or it means that you might want to try something else.

For example, I can't be a Civil Engineer but I know that I can be a massively good Libary Researcher. Does me not being a Civil Engineer make me a loser? No. It just means taht I don't need to be that. I need to be a Research Librarian. I'll let other people do that, right? It's okay.

Do what you love and do what you are good at. Don't worry about what others say or do. For the longest time, I worked as a janitor. I made that into an art. As someone with a severe math disability, working as a janitor helped the practical part of my mind which helped my academic mind. I have a bachelors' in SW. AND it took me 6 years to figure out a major and two years to do the social work work. My average was a 1.9999999999999. I don't care--I did it.

Failure is a construct by our society. Everyone has something to contribute.

I know people who don't have jobs who if they hadn't existed and I hadn't talked to them, I'd not be here. Even a person who is an encourager and not necessarily some big time suit is important. We all are important.

You don't know if in the future you might save a life just by being present or being supportive or by saying the right thing.

Sucess is just being a good person and living and loving others--that's it.

You are 19. There is so much time.

Talk therapy will help you with self esteem. I've had about 30 years of therapy and by God, without it I would not be here.

Stop Stop Stop, putting yourself down like you are. I don't believe you are all those negative things that you claim to be. I would like you to re post and say at least one positive thing about yourself and then we can work off of that and discard all the negativity. Please...Hugs GB

Wow, that's a hell of a lot of self bashing, If I beat myself up like that
I'd be sore for days, I think you need to be kind and loving to yourself.
You are a good person and others can see that, You need to as well.
Big Hugs

Hey, cheer up. You're letting the bad voices speak to you, and you're listening to them. You need to tell them where the f*** they can shove it. ;) Keep breathing, keep moving forward, and just keep trying.

I really like what 4myson744 said. If we only lived up to our expectations we would be fine! I am reading a book right now my therapist suggested called "The Four Agreements". It is really interesting. It talks about how we had no choice in how we were brought up, what values we were taught to believe and how were were taught how to behave. Then when we became adults, society plays a huge part in how we are because we must feel the need to "belong" or "fit in". How marvelous would it be if all that went away and we could just be who God intended us to be and not worry about what our parents thought of us or society thought or our childrend thought? I'm not very far into the book, but it is supposed to teach me how to do that. It wil be a HUGE hurdle to cross if it does!!

I feel like I've said go to hell to those people that don't accept me for who I am or treat me the way I feel I should be treated but guess where that landed me? Alone and depressed. Maybe I did something wrong along the way. Although my therapist just says I haven't met the right people yet. Who knows.

Anyway, try to be proud of your accomplishments no matter how small. Do things for yourself, go for a walk, volunteer, just get out and make life for yourself. Try to stay away from the people that bring you down!