Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for most of my life. As many of you know, you can't control when it decides to get worse or better. Some days are good and some are bad. Lately, they seem to all be bad. Over the last year I have lost a friend in a motorcylce accident, another to suicide the other day, two cats, witnessed a fatal car accident and stayed with a man while he died, was in a car accident myself, was in and out of the hospital for two weeks, my grandmother had multiple strokes, I was raped, I had surgery, and I work non-stop especially lately because I am covering shifts for a co-worker who broke her leg and I work over 100 hours a week.
I tend to hide the feeling I have from people. Many people don't know that I am depressed all the time. My husband tries to help but doesn't exactly understand. Oh yea plus I forgot to mention that earlier this ear my husband opened up about his gender indentity issues and is most likely transitioning to being a female.
Right now, I try and pretend that everything is ok, but it's not. I feel like I'm drowning. Like I can't seem to find the surface. Everytime I think I do, I get pulled back under. People see my scars or fresh cuts and judge me. They would rather tell me how wrong it is to do that try and help. Even during a recent hospital stay, when they were drawing blood the nurse saw fresh cuts and kept joking that they were cat scratches even though I told him they weren't and he knew.
I decided that I am going to take tomorrow of from work to relax and maybe re-calibrate my brain. I need a break from work that doesn't involve some sort of illness or emergency. I appreciate your comments, they mean a lot to me. I try to stay strong because I don't ever want to hurt my loved ones. They don't really understand how it is to be depressed. I have very few friends in general and I can't really talk to the ones I do have.
I found that my way out; was that I had to cry out to God and scream for help. He has brought me a long ways. I still deal with life issues and have bad days, but he has given me grace and wisdom in knowing how to best resolve those type of days. I now have a sense of peace when times are hard, because I know that things are going to eventually be okay. I have a group of people who support and encourage me when I need it. I will be praying for you.