Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
there are 3 people that I love so much that I would do anything for them My father My aunt and my son. My father is demented and incontinent and my aunt is demented. They both have congeustive Herar failure. I don't stay with them but I do tend to them about 4 to 8 hours a day. I am on call 24 hours a day. I do have hospice and am greatfull for having them. But 2 baths a week just doesn't cut it. There is still much that I have to do and I am not complaining. I just get mad when other people, when they expect me to be doing so much more. It makes me very angry and I think that they should try to live 1 day in my shoes. I wouldn't wish this stress on anyone so they should just back off
. Oh yeah the main reason I lost my son is because my wife was dieing and I was the one who cared for her during that time without hospice I might add. I was also caring for my father and aunt. Enduring the agony of knowing that my wife was going to die drove me crazy.
My wifes parents and half sister saw that I needed help but no one would, But they did go to court and have my son taken away from me Holly when she was still alive. It was like they took every reason for my Holly to want to live away from her.
I saw that and my Holly didn't. My Holly wasn't in the right state of mind in the end and she couldn't see what they have done. I also have a step son and it is hard for me to talk about him because He as spread so many lies about me to his family. He is selfish and a liar. He hated me because he didn't get his way with me. His grand mother believed all the shit he fed her. It got to a point where I did not want him at our home because of the arguments that would start out of the blue because of shit that he said to his grand mother. I could not even speak to my wife about the custody hearing without that boy going and telling his grand mother about it.
I will never forgive them for what they have done. I could write a small novel on all the pain that they caused me and Holly.
It hurts me so bad that my wife had to endure this hell knowing she was dyeing. Knowing that they have my son is a everlasting torment that I cant get over. If it wasn't for my stepson spreading lies me and my wife would have been much happier
Those people are going to teach my child to hate me.
To be honest I truly hate them. One day my step son will screw them over and I will say I told you so.
I used too believe in karma but not so much anymore.
I have done nothing to these people and its like I am at the bottom of the hill and am constantly getting shit on.
. Oh yeah the main reason I lost my son is because my wife was dieing and I was the one who cared for her during that time without hospice I might add. I was also caring for my father and aunt. Enduring the agony of knowing that my wife was going to die drove me crazy.
My wifes parents and half sister saw that I needed help but no one would, But they did go to court and have my son taken away from me Holly when she was still alive. It was like they took every reason for my Holly to want to live away from her.
I saw that and my Holly didn't. My Holly wasn't in the right state of mind in the end and she couldn't see what they have done. I also have a step son and it is hard for me to talk about him because He as spread so many lies about me to his family. He is selfish and a liar. He hated me because he didn't get his way with me. His grand mother believed all the shit he fed her. It got to a point where I did not want him at our home because of the arguments that would start out of the blue because of shit that he said to his grand mother. I could not even speak to my wife about the custody hearing without that boy going and telling his grand mother about it.
I will never forgive them for what they have done. I could write a small novel on all the pain that they caused me and Holly.
It hurts me so bad that my wife had to endure this hell knowing she was dyeing. Knowing that they have my son is a everlasting torment that I cant get over. If it wasn't for my stepson spreading lies me and my wife would have been much happier
Those people are going to teach my child to hate me.
To be honest I truly hate them. One day my step son will screw them over and I will say I told you so.
I used too believe in karma but not so much anymore.
I have done nothing to these people and its like I am at the bottom of the hill and am constantly getting shit on.
(((((((( COMFORTING HUGS )))))))))
LMT
I haven't had any really depressing days like this because I have been taking anti anxiety meds to help sleep. I didn't want to take my meds last night because I didn't want to sleep away the hurt I need to vent and I did sleep from 8.am to 11.am so I did get some sleep
I am tired of trying to block this pain I have without meds. I am going to continue to take them but I am going to leave a day of the week without taking them so I can focus on the feelings that I try so hard to avoid. My feelings need to be addressed and I cant to that with meds that knock me out.
I have vented and feel better. I still think about things that depress me when I'm on meds but am too numb to address them. Sometimes I think that I need to address them with a clear mind
Karma In my eyes is cause and effect that means everything happens for a reason. I guess karma did have a lot to do with my wifes death because she wouldn't comply to a healthier diet that is the cause. The effect was death. I don't feel that it was fair to me because their was nothing I could do to change her diet. I tried for 2 years to get her to change her diet but I failed, I became a difunctional mess, we lost our child and then she died. I skipped a whole of other sad things but that is basically what happened. Now that I wrote it out karma does make sense to me. I tried to help her but I failed. No one could help her I guess loss can be related to karma. Life gave me an impossible task not karma. but there was cause and effect. I don't blame myself for her death and I don't blame myself for falling in love with her. The only thing that could of changed anything is not to have met her. I am glad I met her, I am glad I married her, and I am glad we had a child.
I was tired and ranting when I posted yesterday. I went off my night meds the night before last they help me sleep and see things more clearly the next day, I guess my posts yesterday are proof of it. "
This whole conversation was very deep for me and I am enlightened by my discovery. thank you LUVMYTITANS
(((((((( HUGS ))))))))
LMT