Today I woke up smoked a cigarette and then watched tv, and eventually went back to sleep. I sleep and dream of a better life to avoid the thoughts of my reality, which makes me want to break down and cry. I have lost my entire life, money, possessions, home, clothes, everything, and I am only 23 and still in college. I feel so empty inside like this is the end of the world for me. My friends are so successful and I am just sad and depressed because I feel I can't amount to anything because I am so far behind everyone. I really try to think of the things to be grateful for besides my life. I don't even know if my health is fully stable. It's so much hurt inside me right now that I can't even organize it into words right now. I will continue this after I finish crying.
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