are your parents involved in your life, can you stay with them for a while? Or can the police give you any advise on this situation?

My parents are not in my life and havent been for a while now due to past issues. The police said that I have to be aware and not hesitate to call them if I feel I am in danger but I feel like its not enough.

Hi,
You are right to be concerned. I have read that stalking victims suffer from horrible anxiety, and I have also read that stalking needs to be taken more seriously by the police.

I wonder, are there victims of stalking advocacy/ support groups anywhere in your area?

Start by calling your local hospital's education department or social services and ask them where you can go in your community for support if they don't offer one. If they don't have a support group in place, they may be willing to start one, say monthly.

It's worthwhile asking the police station if they offer or know of a support group.

You are being terrorized and likely to suffer from PTSD when this is all over.

(((((hugs and safety)))))

It's just not right that a person can make someone feel this way, this scared. I can't really offer any advice as I have no clue on this subject whatsoever but I just want to say I hope you stay strong and safe. What Gidget said sounds like a great idea, finding a support group. Maybe you can make some new friends there who you can feel safer with, walking with someone is better than alone.

yea their has to be group somewhere in your area for support. I know you said you don't have many people to call on but I would try to stay close to others and be in public places as much as possible. I know you can't do that like at night and when your home all the time so definitively keep your cell close. I hope this blows over soon, no one should live in fear like this. Keep us posted and take care.

>>and he is still trying to contact me.

>>The police said that I have to be aware and not hesitate to call them

>>and he is still trying to contact me.

>>The police said that I have to be aware and not hesitate to call them

Sorry, hit ADD too soon.

You must notify the police of ANY kind of restraining order violation. If you have an answering machine .. try to record any and all phone calls from him. If you have caller ID, do not 'clear the history'. Let them know of every instance of his trying to contact you.

A restraining order is only an (important) step. You still have to be cautious and aware. Keep doors locked .. look around you when you 'go out'. Be extra cautious.

You might do some research online about stalking and get more advice.

I will look onto seeing if there are any groups I could go to. I've done some research on stalking and all I have gathered is that I have to be on guard all the time. I know I can't handle this forever and I know he will come after me probably sooner rather than later. I am very scared. This whole situation has taken so much from me. I know that I am going to end up having a breakdown from all this stress.

Wow charming... this is horrible.. I really feel for you. I would be very scared also.. You need to keep a journal with times and dates when he has called or even driven past your place.. What ever he does, keep a record. If he defies the restraining order they can easily put him in jail.. Its sad that the police cant do more. They are to busy making money on speeding tickets etc. to help out their community..

I hope you will be safe and pray for you.. What a sad situation..

Hi Charming,
I worried about you all night long. You lingered in my thoughts.

I had a few ideas...

Do you think you might call your police and ask them what you can safely/legally carry with you for protection. I'm thinking about pepperspray and mace. I don't know if they are legal, but maybe you can have a permit or something to carry mace or pepperspray.

Also, it would be wise to look into a self defense class. Karote (sp) or some other self defense class.

I'm suggesting this to empower yourself. Reclaim yourself and pyschologically (sp-sorry, I have a migraine) take control.

Also, and I know this one sounds far fetched. Ask the police about a firing range, and if they offer lessons. This would just be an exercise again to empower yourself, not to carry a firearm.

These are just ideas, but ones to help you feel less threatened and more empowered.

Also, always have your car keys in hand ahead of time, and house keys.

Don't walk anywhere at night alone, and stay in crowds where people can see you and yes, document, document, document.

((((((((HUGS))))))