Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I was living in Maine for 7 years, with my daughter and my brother. My daughter and I had a PCP, therapist, and med management Psychiatrist, as we are both on psych meds, and it was under control.
My brother stopped chipping in and I was over budget - and it caught up with me. I ended up loosing my house, and had no alternative but to move in with my mother, in Rhode Island, with my daughter.
We were forced to abandon the house, and the majority of our possessions, and flee to Rhode Island, only to find that my mother is a great deal sicker than I had assumed.
She has been in a nursing home, and is coming in tomorrow. She needs full time care. I will have to assist her in getting in and out of bed, going to the bathroom, cleaning up herself, etc. I will basically be her nurse, for as long as she is home.
Meanwhile, Finding replacements for the doctors we had set up in Maine has been horrrible. I have finally found a PCP and therapist for the girl, however, finding someone for the med management has been a disaster. I have been dropped from one waiting list because she did not use the center's therapist, and another dr did not work out. I keep getting the same answers - either they are not taking new patients or they do not do adolescents or their waiting list is months long, or they expect me to outline for them confidential information regarding financies that is none of their business.
For myself, I have so far only found a med management dr, maybe, but it was through a training center for the hospital, and while the initial interiew went well, with the intern, when she brought her boss, the professor psychiatrist, the judegmental look on the woman's face would have made me pull the trigger had I had a gun to my head. Don't know how that is going to work out.
So, now I am in the position of having to care for an emotionally disturbed teenager and an elderly dementia patient parent and not having the time to take care of myself. Financially, I will probably be able to recover while I am here, but psychiologically, I don't know if I will survive.
My mother is nearly out of money, and after that her only asset is her house. If she looses that, she will have nothing. If I can help her to save it, that would be good, but it all depends on how well she does with me as her care taker.
The girl is turning 15, and will soon be an adult and may or may not move on after high school. If she decides to go to college, she may be living her after high school, depending on the college, but she may decide to move to somewhere else. We'll see, when the time comes.
For right now, though, I barely have a moment to myself,; when I am not bringing people to their appointments I am arranging for them. I am running errands and shopping; cooking and cleaning; and I am still not completely recovered from my illness and may never be. I am getting old.
I don't think that I am going to like this stage of my life much more than I liked the last stage of my life, but I really do not know how to deal with the anger that lives inside of me and do not want to take it out on either my mother or my kid - most of it is towards my brother, because he has brought me to this pit I am in - and myself, for letting him do it.
I am just so angry.
My brother stopped chipping in and I was over budget - and it caught up with me. I ended up loosing my house, and had no alternative but to move in with my mother, in Rhode Island, with my daughter.
We were forced to abandon the house, and the majority of our possessions, and flee to Rhode Island, only to find that my mother is a great deal sicker than I had assumed.
She has been in a nursing home, and is coming in tomorrow. She needs full time care. I will have to assist her in getting in and out of bed, going to the bathroom, cleaning up herself, etc. I will basically be her nurse, for as long as she is home.
Meanwhile, Finding replacements for the doctors we had set up in Maine has been horrrible. I have finally found a PCP and therapist for the girl, however, finding someone for the med management has been a disaster. I have been dropped from one waiting list because she did not use the center's therapist, and another dr did not work out. I keep getting the same answers - either they are not taking new patients or they do not do adolescents or their waiting list is months long, or they expect me to outline for them confidential information regarding financies that is none of their business.
For myself, I have so far only found a med management dr, maybe, but it was through a training center for the hospital, and while the initial interiew went well, with the intern, when she brought her boss, the professor psychiatrist, the judegmental look on the woman's face would have made me pull the trigger had I had a gun to my head. Don't know how that is going to work out.
So, now I am in the position of having to care for an emotionally disturbed teenager and an elderly dementia patient parent and not having the time to take care of myself. Financially, I will probably be able to recover while I am here, but psychiologically, I don't know if I will survive.
My mother is nearly out of money, and after that her only asset is her house. If she looses that, she will have nothing. If I can help her to save it, that would be good, but it all depends on how well she does with me as her care taker.
The girl is turning 15, and will soon be an adult and may or may not move on after high school. If she decides to go to college, she may be living her after high school, depending on the college, but she may decide to move to somewhere else. We'll see, when the time comes.
For right now, though, I barely have a moment to myself,; when I am not bringing people to their appointments I am arranging for them. I am running errands and shopping; cooking and cleaning; and I am still not completely recovered from my illness and may never be. I am getting old.
I don't think that I am going to like this stage of my life much more than I liked the last stage of my life, but I really do not know how to deal with the anger that lives inside of me and do not want to take it out on either my mother or my kid - most of it is towards my brother, because he has brought me to this pit I am in - and myself, for letting him do it.
I am just so angry.
deleted_user
I so wish I had some good advise for you and the right answers. I am sending you a big HUG! and just want to say you are in my thoughts and prayers. You WILL get through this difficult time and you must not be so hard on yourself. I can see you've had many twists and turns, but you've made it this far and will continue to find answers. Hang in there, keep posting, and share/vent when you feel like it. You will find that support group here and more. That's what this site is all about.
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