Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Here is my story i seem to have a weird sickness that people dont want to call it a sickness, by this i mean i help out people and make them happy more than i can make myself happy. This dosent seem so bad at first but i cant ever recall a time in my life that i have been happy and i have a lot of friends and a decent family but i feel like i will hurt them and make them feel distanced from me, this i dont want. i am 20 years old and keep thinking that i wasted my life so far and i have tried to kill myself a couple of times already but nothing seemed to work i am waiting till i get to 21 so i can get a gun cause i know/hope that will work cause i have a job that everyone likes me but they know im suicidal and i see that as a problem cause they now think im crazy, i dont blame them i just got tired of life realy early this is not a fake post i just dont know what else to do cause even my friends and family are thinking i wont do it and I have never been a person that says something and dosent do it. This is the only answer i can come up with cause i hate walking down the street and people look at me like im some sort of freak and i choose not to go anywhere anymore and the thoughts just seem to pile up i will not take pills i tried once and they dint work, talking to a profesional also dosent help at all cause i dont like people that pity me.
each day we have only so much energy... and when you give too much of it to the people around you, trying to help them and make them happy... you have none left for yourself... after a while, this takes a huge toll on your psyche, and causes exactly what youre going through.
eventually your own happiness just doesnt seem worth working on, so you dont, and it suffers...
everyone goes through major changes at around your age... and they can be hard... but if you take control of your life, and guide it properly, you can stop living the life you have now, and make one thats much easier to be happy in.
your life will most likely completely transform several times in your lifetime... be sure to take the steps to make them transform into good lives instead of bad.
if you dont like the streets you live in, move to other ones, where nobody knows you so they cant think that about you... OR... simply show them that they're wrong
hope this made sense and was helpful... sorry if it wasnt
You appear to be a person who genuinely cares about others, and believe it or not, that is becoming rare. The world NEEDS people just like you who gives a shit about the welfare of others.
I'm wondering if you have ever considered doing volunteer work or becoming a counselor yourself. I get the feeling that you are made for that sort of thing and that doing such good just might be what you need to feel good about yourself. Then you can say wow...look at all the people I am helping and whom I make happy. Why would I want to take that away from them?
You already said that you are quite a popular person and that people like you. Staying in their lives will clearly make them happy whereas taking your own life will do just the opposite.