Can't seem to find a way back. Ever since i lost custody of my son and going through 2 relatives passing back to back, nothing has been going well. I can't eat regular, sleeping is almost non-exsistant. I cry every day and all day and I feel so numb and cut off from everything dear to me. My counselors can't seem to help and I have no one to go to who understands what Im going through that is close to where I live that is friend or family. My trust and fear of everything has cut me off from the world that I literally struggle with daily normal life. My whole life has been me pretending to be someone Im not for the sake of everyone around me that I have absolutely no idea who I am and what I would want out of my future anymore. I feel so worthless and such a failure that I still can't see a way or path in front of me that may be promising. Everyone tells me to be strong and live my life for myself, but I have never been about myself in all my life to even know how to start or feel comfortable in doing that. I know I need help. I know I need strength. Im just so tired of fighting a pointless battle and trying my best only to fail and get crapped on in the end.
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Today was my Birth day, no one called, text me, no card, emailed me, face booked me. No one cared, to hell with everyone.