Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Struggling to get out of funk

CopingNow
CopingNow
It has been a long Time since I have been to this site. Not even sure when I joined. I changed jobs 9 months ago. The first 6 months it really helped improve my view on life.

I am very near the empty nest. Oldest is a Jr. In college away at school. Youngest is in 1st year at community college but considering moving out. I really need the weather to improve so I can get sunshine to improve my mood.

My marriage is ehh so-so. Something has to give. I am constantly wondering how other people can afford to get away and go on awesome trips. My husband is very tight with the money and very negative about our financial situation. Putting kids through school without debt while a huge gift to them is really draining our marriage. We took 2 weeks off in February which was supposed to be a gear to road trip but turned into a stay-cation that has resulted in me becoming used to over-sleeping and being lazy.

I just needed to get this off my chest somewhere safe and secure to see ifor someone else can help me process my options or at least help me get back on the right track. This won't last for ever just trying to keep from snapping and giving up on marriage or life. Thanks in advance. Not my most fragile or stable but seeking to be more emotionally stable.
Restful
Restful
I think maybe you should talk to your husband about how you're feeling and lay your emotions out there. You may be surprised with the outcome, and you will definitely feel better confronting the issue head-on.
survivor69
survivor69
WELCOME BACK 2 OUR GROUP!
GBU
DRENA B
;-O
heatherhurts
heatherhurts
Welcome back, CopingNow. Good job venting. We need to get this stuff out of us. I can think of no better place besides therapy. Here we are all equals. We belong here because we say we belong here.

I had to laugh when you said you were seeking emotional stability. I am not the poster child for emotional stablity, but I am a lot better than I used to be. I am a good listener.

I do not have any words of wisdom on marriage or children because I have neither. My Mom was glad to see us go. The woman is 80 and she just finally stopped packing me a care package grocery bags when I get to visit. lol So I have a little idea about mom feelings. I mean, I had a mother. I just never was a mother. (except for cats) lol

Here's hoping you feel a bit better at this point in the day. (((((HUGS)))))
oldkittycat
oldkittycat
not everyone knows what we are thinking or feeling, even spouses, some times just need to tell how you feel and what you need. Maybe he is feeling some of the same at this point in your marriage. Maybe approach it with honey I was just thinking, how would you like to go( here or there..) are there some things he likes to do that you could do together to get started? do it in a way it is his idea, or what he likes... maybe some where he enjoys and things to do together? just some thoughts.....maybe start conversation by talking about empty nest soon, how he feels about it, make some plans or talk about when it was just the two of you and things you both enjoyed .... maybe suggest date night...romantic dinner out? just a ride together.. any thing to get started...get the romance back.
billwfriend
billwfriend
hi good to see you again....yup I am like heatherhurts never a parent and no longer a husband....

I guess some of this warmer weather will help some of us and maybe you as well....I think taking time to converse about becoming an empty nester with hubby might be productive....you could dream and talk about far off islands to find and visit?
koolman
koolman
With all due respect to some professions that require a college degree, is vocational/tech school, in and out in 6 months with much less expense than college, an option for any of your kids?
bridgie101
bridgie101
Hubby's clearly of one of the families that lost the farm in the depression and that attitude will last another 100 years in some families. it's lucky he was like that, because the world wide recession, if you had been in debt, could have had a very bad effect on you all.

I think you could find a way to fund a vacation outside the standard living expenses. I have recently suggested mushrooms to someone, but google 'urban farming'. Growing excess food and taking it to market on saturdays. you could get $500 a week and put that to a holiday.

I think you and hubby need to sit down and make a list each by yourselves, of what you think is vital to have. What is a nice to have, what is a need to have, and then negotiate that some of your need to haves that are his nice to haves are added into the budget. Otherwise he's the only one nominating what is necessary for survival.
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