I'm sorry to hear you're having a bad time right now. I know how you feel. However this shall pass, even though it doesn't seem like it. Think back there are probally times when things or feelings were worse and you got through them some how. Think of positive things in your life, family, friends, pets, etc. I know its hard but people do care about you. When I get really down and want to end my life, i think of how my family would feel and react. So far thats the only thing that has kept me in this life. Find people to talk to, if you have to go to the ER. Anything, it might not seem like it now but life is worth living. I've tried to commit suicide sseveral times so, I know where your coming from.
Keeping you in thoughts and prayers.
Shelly

My friend I would really miss you if you weren't around anymore. I consider it a privilege and an honor to get the chance to know you a little bit as I you have been sharing lately. When I am real depressed I think of death a lot too and it is a hard thing to shake. Please know that you are not a loser! Not in my book. You haven't given up despite facing huge difficulties and that is amazing. I sure hope the sunshine begins to shine in your heart again. Please do call a crisis line or get to the hospital if you feel you are going to act on these thoughts. Just know my wife and I both appreciate you and are sending hugs and love your way.

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

People have been telling me for years that this dark tunnal will end or get brighter but I really don't believe that if it does happen it doesn't last long then this illnesss drags me back down. I don't know how much longer I can do this I work to escape life but know I have a shoulder that I don't know what I did to it but its been sore for a month last couple of days its so sore can barely move it, have a sore foot that gets so bad that i limp alot and pain in my side for a few days know I don't know how much longer can work so hard. If I don't work I really don't want to live don't know how to without it, gn

Sorry computer is acting up

I don't know why I always want to die always thinking of ways to do it I've been on meds for over couple years I just do t get it I know I hate myself and I hate how I look I just hate everything about me

I sure hope your physical issues get better soon my friend. It must be scary to think of not working. I can relate to your feelings that things will never truly improve. I have thought and said that many times.
I have a mother-in-law who was so severely depressed for ten years that she couldn't function. She had to get assistance bathing. She couldn't clean house or go out. She often would lay in a fetal position. Now she is happy most of the time and functions well with her meds and the therapeutic things she found that help her. Her story encourages me. If she can get better then so can we. She is not the only one I know who has made great strides and gotten better. Keep open minded to anything that has helped someone else. Keep looking for insights that may shed some light on why you have felt defeated for so long. Hold onto a shred of hope that indeed you will find the light again. I see you making progress by posting so openly and honestly when I know you are shy by nature. I see your goodness come through when you reach out to others. You are not a lost cause and I AM FAR FROM GIVING UP HOPE FOR YOU!!! YOU ARE NOT AN UNLOVABLE LOSER!!! Your mind is not your friend right now so tune out its constant put downs and thoughts of suicide. Listen to the voices of your friends here who are telling you that YOU CAN MAKE IT!!!