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Struggling a lot

sfay
sfay

How do I get my mother to stop being emotionally and verbally abusive? She does that to my siblings and me, just yesterday she said that my sister had an ugly nose and that it was her fault it was that way because she plays around with it too much, which made no sense. She also last week was going through old photos and came across a photo of me as a child and she said "aww she was so cute when she younger now she's aggressive and mean and disrespectful", I don't know how to describe the anger I felt when she said this, my mental health is stuck because my mother continuously setting me back, I'm at a point where I can't handle it, I feel rage and anger and I want revenge and I want to hurt her, badly. Sometimes I wish I was evil so that I could hurt her or even kill her,(sorry, just saying how I feel). I hate my mom so much and I don't know when I'll ever be able to forgive her, especially if she never ends up changing. 

Tired
Tired
You can't get your mother to change. But you can try to learn to react differently to her, not true, words. Maybe you can find library books, online websites, etc. that can help you learn to change your response to your
mothers words. I would imagine punching a punching bag over and over when I was really mad or upset with someone. It seems to take the edge off the anger.
RoboticIncel
RoboticIncel
Mothers tend to be very nasty, i despised my parents too.
Tired
Tired
That's not true. Some mothers are mean
, some fathers are mean. Some kids get lucky and get great parents.
My mother was a problem for me. My father was great except that he didn't
speak up when moms ideas was not healthy. I hated my mom for a lot of years.
But as I got older, I wasn't angry. Still upset with her a lot of the time, wish I had gotten a different mother. But was a little more understanding of her problems.
Her difficult personality. I was past middle age when I stopped hating her. But we never became close.
RoboticIncel
RoboticIncel
I am talking about in general, Mothers aren't these angels they tend to be violent and nasty.
my sources :
http://www.breakingthescience.org/SimplifiedDataFromDHHS.php
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
Asking her how to change their views is silly because you can't, but you don't have to worry about what she thinks. You just need to tell yourself her views do not matter. Note the bible does not say obey your parents but honor them, which means respect them. Your mother is not setting you back, it's your decision to validate her opinions even though you have recognized that she's wrong in many areas.

For example, you meet your mom for lunch. After a few minutes of small talk, you order a cheeseburger with fries, and she says maybe you should get something else because it looks like you're putting on some weight, and quite frankly that's not very flattering. You have a variety of responses but one obvious one, is wait a second, look at your phone, and say I'm so sorry, it looks like we have a meeting and I'm going to have to go, nice seeing you mom, and I'll cancel the order. Do that a few times and the comments may end.

I have friends who support Trump, those who hate him, but neither group seems to worry about how the other group feels. You have to eliminate your need for validation from her and that will free you.
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