Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I feel like all my life I've been bullied about being quiet and about my weight or having acne. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin or just socially I've had a hard time because I just didn't want to talk to people really for the longest time. I was also just afraid because I figured people see me as quiet and that's all I am so I just gave up for a long time. It's gotten so bad to the point where sometimes I'm afraid to leave my house because I don't want to encounter people from school and be constantly reminded of what they think of me. I just feel like everyone had an opinion about me and decided to keep pushing me down further into this hole. They made me feel ashamed of who I am and I don't exactly know how to move on from all of that. I've been battling this depression for who knows how long and now that I'm done with highschool I don't really know where to begin to take my life back.
Growth takes as long as it takes. Finding you takes as long as it takes. You lost you, and that was fine. Children are unself-aware and that's great because childhood is a horror story. At least they're unself-aware. At least they don't malinger over what they can't understand or control.... except that by the end of childhood it really does start to damage a person.
Give yourself time, let yourself find you. Ask yourself if you love you even though you have acne. do you? of course you bloody do. And so can other people. TBH acne is a non-issue. I had a boyfriend with severe acne and cysts he had to get chopped out of his face regularly. He was so funny, and kind, and really sporty. his acne was the last thing on my mind.
Does your weight upset you? Does it? No. Of course not. It keeps you warm, feels soft and comfy. It's only cultural 'norms' that your weight is upsetting. Who cares about cultural norms? Why drag them through life with you, the superficial small-minded second rate values system of the feral rats of high school? You have to drink that kool-ade while you're there but you can drop it now you've moved on.
You're moving into the adult world. We don't think like high school kids. We really don't. We care if you show up for work on time, do the work you're set, have self-determination and self-management. We care if your'e rude, or stupid, or lazy. We don't give the tiniest firetruck about anything as irrelevant as looks. You need to go watch 'mean girls'. That bit right at the end of the movie. That bit. :)
The only thing that helped me get rid of that PTSD, has been Aikido training, which is why I recommend it to everyone in a similar situation. Aikido techniques very cleverly reprogram our brain, and let us subtly reframe our memories, from situations where there seemed no escape, into something with a third option. It lets your body and mind know that there is often more than just fight or flight, and that the past doesn't have to repeat in your life anymore.
It is one of the more friendly and non-competitive martial arts out there, go visit a class near you.
What do you love to do? Art, writing, music, science, math? Take as many interesting classes as they allow and go to some after school clubs. I was 165 and still played tennis on the team for 3 years. Don't let the perception of others deter. If they have time to do that, they have too much time.
I was bullied too. It only stopped when I said that's enough of your carp. Go bother someone who cares. They left me alone after that. There's a tigress in you. Let her out and watch them turn tail.