Depression Support Group
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I just moved back in with my mother (loooooong story). Things were very rocky at first, but seem to have gotten better (meaning we just stay out of each other's way...kinda awkward). I thought my mom had calmed down from how...lacking of understanding she used to be to me as a kid, but it seems she has not changed too much. I honestly feel as though she is not aware of how hurtful she can be sometimes, and from what I see, she doesn't have any of the same problems with my sister that she does with me. I feel as though my mother gets along so much better with my sister than with me, and my basis is from watching their interactions. When my mom speaks to me she is very guarded and just not nearly as receiving to communication as she is to my sibling. When my sister enters the room, her eyes light up, she laughs at all her jokes and it's like they're best friends....unlike when I try and talk to her. Our interactions almost feels like we're either avoiding saying the wrong thing to each other or we're just on the brink of arguing, so no meaningful communication really happens.
Anyone else ever experience something like this? I feel so alone...
Anyone else ever experience something like this? I feel so alone...
How is your relationship with your sister? Perhaps she can shed some light on the situation for you.
ThePepperMan: Thank you for your input.
My wife is the same way with her family as compared to me. The whole "eyes lighting up" thing is totally the same here.
Instead of trying to stay out of each others way, make an effort to reach out to her and do something about your relationship. You'll probably be surprised at how much she has to say to you once she knows she has your undivided attention on the relationship.
unfortunately for me and my wife I think the damage done by the silent treatments and lack of communication over the years damaged things to a no turning back point. But with a mother daughter, it can never be too late.
I and my one sister are more like our Dad, easy-going, methodical. My brother and my other sister are more like our Mom, feisty, violatile. It's quite possible you and your Mom have similar personalities, whereas your sister is more like your Dad, and your Mom doesn't like looking at herself!
Meanwhile, I got to spend most of my time with Dad, who doted on me but was also a twisted bastard at times. Lucky me!
Now they are both gone. My status says,
"If you were going to die tomorrow, would you spend today being angry?:"
Hopefully as this is a recent move you will learn to get along better with your mother in time. I would suggest reaching out to your sister, who may have lived there longer, an seeing what you can learn from her.
GO AHEAD AND TELL HER.
SHE MAY NOT UNDERSTAND HOW WHAT SHE SAYS MAKES U FEEL BAD AND DIFFERENT THAN YOUR SISTER.
GBU
DB
;-]
I think you have 2 ways to go here:
1. be gentle always and non-judgmental, and see if her anxiety goes away;
2. talk to her - again gently, and ask her how she feels with you. You will probably have to be the bigger man here, and take some criticism without giving any back.
It's worth it. You'll get there. She loves you, you love her; but communication has crashed.