Well, here I am. I'm alive. I can barely believe it, but I'm alive. I had a wreck last Monday night, fell asleep at the wheel. I ran off a bridge, nosedived into the ground, and then flipped the car. I didn't think I would make it out alive. I was upside down with my head in the water until I could manage to get out of my seatbelt, certainly not the time to panic, but I did anyway. I thought I would drown there in less than a foot of water. Once I got out of my seatbelt, I could only open the door about 2 inches. I prayed for the first time in a long time. I screamed to the top of my lungs for God to please help me out of this mess. I pushed and pushed and the door wouldn't budge, but God moved the rest of the car backwards for me about another 6 inches, and He helped me squeeze out of a space that my son wouldn't even be able to fit through. I'm astounded by God's grace towards me. Not a single broken bone, and it's a miracle that I'm even alive. So many times I wanted to die. I made a conscious choice to live this time. I could have just not fought what was happening to me, and noone would have ever known that I could've lived. Noone would've thought "suicide", it was just another car accident. I could've stayed, suspended in the air, by my seatbelt, and just drowned. There are so many "if's" in this situation. "If" I wouldn't have been wearing my seatbelt. "If" I had panicked to the point of being useless to myself. "If"...if, if... life is full of if's. But I made it. I wanted to live, and that is the bigger miracle here. A desire to live... I forgot what it felt like. When actually faced with the decision, live or die, I wanted to live. Thank God!
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