Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
It's been a week now since I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. I have such a great time when my boyfriend is around and our love has never been stronger. But I still feel like an outcast when it comes to his family, especially his brother.
The family is always doing something and I just stand around because I don't know what to do with myself. I offer to help and sometimes there's stuff for me to do but other times I just look like an idiot. It's not so bad when my boyfriend is around because i'm comfortable with him. I don't like being this shy person but I can't help it, i'm very closed off when it comes to people. And it just seems to make my depression worse. I cry almost every night because I miss home and I feel like i'm not wanted here.
I've also noticed in just this one week that i've been here that all the responsibility is put on my boyfriends shoulders while his brother does nothing yet gets all the praise for it! They tell him to do this and do that and his brother gets to sit on his ass and calls my boyfriend names. He's so disrespectful towards him. I wanted to say something so bad but it's not my place and I don't need to cause tension between me and the family. I told my boyfriend about it and he says he knows they treat him like that. He wants so badly to please his dad and tries so hard, but nothing ever seems to be good enough. I can see in his face how badly it hurts him, and it hurts me that I can't do anything about it. It just makes me feel more unwelcomed from his siblings. And my boyfriend will be going to his week long drill tomorrow and i'll be stuck by myself. I'm really not looking forward to it. I feel alone enough as it is. It's all fueling my depression.
Sorry to ramble but I had to get it out before I exploded!
The family is always doing something and I just stand around because I don't know what to do with myself. I offer to help and sometimes there's stuff for me to do but other times I just look like an idiot. It's not so bad when my boyfriend is around because i'm comfortable with him. I don't like being this shy person but I can't help it, i'm very closed off when it comes to people. And it just seems to make my depression worse. I cry almost every night because I miss home and I feel like i'm not wanted here.
I've also noticed in just this one week that i've been here that all the responsibility is put on my boyfriends shoulders while his brother does nothing yet gets all the praise for it! They tell him to do this and do that and his brother gets to sit on his ass and calls my boyfriend names. He's so disrespectful towards him. I wanted to say something so bad but it's not my place and I don't need to cause tension between me and the family. I told my boyfriend about it and he says he knows they treat him like that. He wants so badly to please his dad and tries so hard, but nothing ever seems to be good enough. I can see in his face how badly it hurts him, and it hurts me that I can't do anything about it. It just makes me feel more unwelcomed from his siblings. And my boyfriend will be going to his week long drill tomorrow and i'll be stuck by myself. I'm really not looking forward to it. I feel alone enough as it is. It's all fueling my depression.
Sorry to ramble but I had to get it out before I exploded!
Get out of the house while you bf is away, even if it's just a walk, or a visit to the library. Try and get involved in tasks in the home like washing up in the house, and maybe offer to clean, or make coffee? As a shy person, I know how tough this can be!!!
Good luck, and resist the urge to fight his battles for him. After so many years he's worked out the best way to survive at home. When you two get a place together then you can support him in standing up against his family. Good luck, and well done for standing up for him and for you.
You boyfriend sounds very blessed to have you in his corner... I hope that I can meet a girl with your committment someday!!
Tom B. aka Ihman
You have yourself in a difficult living situation unless you find a way to communicate with the people you live with. I know you are shy, and it's not their fault either. Perhaps you can start by asking what chores you can be responsible for every day, and what chores you can be responsible for every week.
If you become part of the family by helping out, perhaps they will be more likely to include you in conversations, and you will become more comfortable.
Otherwise, they may resent you being there.
Just a thought, hon.
Good luck, and come here for ideas anytime.
Try to get close with his mother and ask her if you can either cook or help her cook sometime. Im sure once the mother gets to know you she will love you and then the rest will be a *peace* of cake..Sibling rivalry is something you just need to back away from.... MOO.. meaning *my own opinion*... and I am usually right (just kidding)