Hey keepitsimple39,

I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but I will tell you this.

I've had days where I have felt/thought similarly; that nobody would notice or care if I erased my existence from this world, but somebody out there does care, even when you don't believe so.

I care because even though I may just seem like a stranger to you, your words, your thoughts, and your feelings are so familiar to me.

I don't know exactly what is the source of your pain specifically or where this all stems from, but I can tell you that you are not alone in this.

I can only speculate that the reason why you are still here with us is because you are holding onto hope for an improvement in life, and I believe that it's possible; we just have to continue working toward it and you don't have to work toward this improvement by yourself.

I'm here if you just want someone to talk with/to or if you need positive encouragement.

((Hugs))

I believe that there is always more than one solution to every problem. Death does not have to be one of them. There are other paths to walk down.

when you have nobody in your life, your worthless... I have no meaning...

a guy i grew up with just decided the same thing... he didnt know anyone cared about him... now hes gone, and the list for his memorial is up to 53 after just 2 days... it looks like he was wrong

but, this isnt about the people you may or may not hurt... its about you...

if you are unhappy with the person you are, you can change into a completely different person

its usually not an overnight process, and it requires a lot of work, but each and every one of us has the power to change who we are...

i dont know you, or anything about your life, so i cant suggest how you should do it... but even if i knew you better than you know yourself, youre still the only one that can do it

others can help, if you let them... and many people here would be happy to do whatever they can to help... but in the end, it comes down to you.

if i can ever be of any help, please, just let me know... im a pretty good listener/reader, if nothing else

i know working hard seems scary... but wouldnt it be worth it to be happy?

happiness for me is a very dangerous word, just as hope is... there isn't any of that where I exist, just pain, suffering, anger, abuse, rejection, lies....

that doesnt have to be true in the new life you build for yourself

I know how you feel. I have no one in my life either.
I often feel like killing myself and maybe one say I
will. There is only pain in my life and I can't take it.

wouldnt it be better to get someone in your life?

i know its not easy... ive had to do it myself... when i quit doing drugs i had to drop out of my social groups... and i had noone in my life... it was really hard, but i went out and got new people in my life... and i did it by taking one small step at a time

it took a while, but, it worked, and it helped a lot

if i can be of any help, i'll be happy to! just let me know

I lost my kids mother to suicide almost 4 years ago and I have not been the same since... I have hated all people around me and I have pushed each and every friend I had away because they make me sick. I am about tired of looking at all these happy families when mine was stolen from me. I lost my kids a week after she died because I was in a drunken/drugged up stooper and didn't care about them. NOW they have been adopted out to another family and ill never see them again.... nice f---ken life isn't it? this world means nothing to me and I am about to follow in her footsteps because I don't care anymore. all I want to do is scream, yell, abuse people because they are happy. I hate happiness and I tell anyone I see happy they need to get the f--k away from me and quickly... there is nothing here for me, there is NO hope, there is NO chance for me to stop getting drunk because there is NOTHING.... a matter of fact im going to get drunk tonight and then start a fight at the local bar... why? because I want to get beat up so maybe ill be hospitalized. there is nothing anyone can tell me that will change my mind... I am walking dead....

well, youre partially right... nothing can help you untill youre ready to accept the help, and do the work it takes to get back to happy

it CAN be done... millions of people have done it, millions more will do it... you are not alone...

there are more things i could tell you, but youre playing baseball right now, and any ball of truth i send your way, youre just going to knock out of the park... its hard to play catch with someone that has a bat in their hands instead of a glove, ya know?

we're all here to help, when youre ready for it... and it'll be a lot easier to let us help you than have dr's or judges force help on you... because, as we all know, forcing help on someone isnt really helping them very much

i really do hope you can accept the help soon... and when you do, i'll be here to do anything i can to help... please, just shoot me a message

but before you go spread misery onto others, please keep in mind what it felt like when someone spread misery onto you... its a dangerous chain that never leads to good things for anyone involved

:(

there really isn't a purpose for me other than destroying myself and verbally abusing others... sad, but true...