Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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still feeling suicidle :(

musicgirl1991
musicgirl1991


I ended up speaking the truth to the people at program I was going to. They forced me to go to hospital and be admitted . I just got out today .i still feel suicidle but being in the hospital wasn't helping me at all I just felt like I was being held hostage because had no therapeutic treatments .so I tolled them I was fine and I got out .now I'm starting the out patient program again and my anxiety is going nuts knowing I will be seeing the same people who forced me to go to hospital tomorrow :/ I'm scared especially since the thoughts of suicide still won't go away 

EmmaRose88
EmmaRose88
What triggers your thoughts? Find a program you like. Clearly if you told these individuals your thoughts you must have felt some since of trust in them.
EmmaRose88
EmmaRose88
Sense
musicgirl1991
musicgirl1991
Sadly nothing seems to trigger them .i just randomly get thoughts in my head that I need to be dead :( things could be going fine and my head freaks thinking that I shouldn't be happy :(
Sparkle-04
Sparkle-04
Im the same way. It started to gradually increase. When i got off birth control i had a HUGE urge to kill myself and i fought horribly not to that i just bawl my eyes out. After that, birth control is something im avoiding. Are u on it? But i still think about it..its just not as strong anymore.
musicgirl1991
musicgirl1991
No I am not on birth control .i just need to find a way to get control of these thoughts :( I just wish I knew how :(
TooMuch
TooMuch
it really really sounds like a chemical issue to me, especially since there are no triggers. not that i am any way qualified to say that, but just gut feeling to me is that there is something chemical. or you are blocking out and/or not sharing what triggers it or what has traumatized you.

either way, i hope you can find someone you can trust. time the in the hospital is a complete waste if you aren't honest and open. what therapeutic treatments were you denied? definitely look around and don't settle, find someone or some place that you feel comfortable with.
ukwills
ukwills
make some good friends , start writing gratitude journal
musicgirl1991
musicgirl1991
I have tried individual talk therapy . Cbt ,and I see a psychiatrist .now I am going to a intensive outpatient program that runs 5 days a week all day . Hopfully I can learn some coping mechanisms there.
I just started two new medicines .i have tried many and nothing seems to work . So it's gonna take a lot of luck for this to actually do anything ....
SassyGrace
SassyGrace
"I just got out today .i still feel suicidle but being in the hospital wasn't helping me at all I just felt like I was being held hostage because had no therapeutic treatments "


Unfortunately, this is usually the case. Well meaning people tell you go, they do paperwork for three days and let you just sit.

I'm praying you find something that works for you so you don't need to go through that again.

There are many other fine alternatives, you just need to find what works for you.
musicgirl1991
musicgirl1991
Hopfully round 2 of this program works .i can't go to hospital agai. :(
Debbalina
Debbalina
I'm sorry your hospital experience was disappointing. I had a friend do the same thing - she was suicidal, they kept her there, so she lied as well. I've found suicidal thoughts are scary but they can subside if you find the right meds. I know its such a crap shoot. But keep pushing in that area and try to hang in. Are there people in IOP that you can relate to? I made some friends when I was in IOP one time and I kept in touch with them afterwards -that was nice. At least your there learning new tools and getting support. I'll pray for you.
muskrattiger
muskrattiger
I am also sorry that you did not get help in hospital ...you schould of been seeing the phicatrist every day ...so he could better access you .......dont let this ...stop you from getting the help..you need.... I continue to keep you in my prayers ....God bless ...
Tired
Tired
Maybe the thoughts are from OCD? You probably need medication. But it can take time to find the
right medication or combination of medications to quiet your mind.
musicgirl1991
musicgirl1991
Yeah I just got formally diagnosed anxiety , depression , OCD . I'm on two new medicines i don't think they will work though
hopefuleddie
hopefuleddie
Sorry for what you are going through; you are not alone; Those of us on this board care about you, as do your friends and family i’m sure. Getting involved with volunteer and charity work works well along with therapy; it worked for me. I noticed I always had better day on the days I would go do my volunteer/charity work, as compared to when I spent more time alone. It think charity work allowed me to look beyond myself, and also give a sense of purpose. Don’t quit please; you matter; and there is a plan for your life. I will pray for you. God Bless.
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