Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I feel like life is spiraling totally out of control. I just don't know what to do. I feel like my whole life is in "limbo". I've been separated from my stbx since August. I was with him for 22 years. Shouldn't have stayed in it as long as I did. But, my religious upbringing made me stay as long as I did. Anyways, I feel like I got my spirit back when we separated. I felt "alive". Then the holidays came and I started spiraling. I just have a hard time trying to figure out what my "purpose in life" is. I mean I've been with him so many years that I don't know how to be "me" if that makes sense? I was always the primary caretaker for the children. Now I still am, but add to it working full time into the equation, and doing everything. I feel like I just can't juggle life. I'm so overwhelmed, lonely, tired, and alot of other things. I met this wonderful guy. We started as friends, and it developed into more. The problem is he's long distance. We connect on so many levels. It's so hard not to see him. We haven't seen each other since October. He suffers from major depression. He loves me, there's no question there. The distance kills me. It depresses me besides all that I'm juggling within my life. I don't know what my purpose is. I just knew what road to take or at least some direction. I feel like I have no control over anything. I hate feeling this way. I'm so scared.
deleted_user
I feel the same way. You just shut down and it then it is hard to do anything
deleted_user
I know what you mean about spiraling out of control. The holidays did that for me too. It will take time to find out who you are. I have been separated from ex for a year tomorrow and it took me at least 6 months to really begin to understand who I was and to feel comfortable with myself. As for feeling overwhelmed, take some personal time, even just a couple of deep breaths. It helps me most of the time. As for the long distance relationship, do things for him (bake cookies or make something). Time will fly by and you will closer to him.
deleted_user
I think most people who leave their spouse after being together for such a great length of time experience the same thing as you. At first, you're FREE! However, that gets old very quickly. You start to yearn for a companion. It doesn't seem like you've been divorced or separated that long, so it may take quite some time to resume living a more "normal" life - whatever that may be :o) Is there any chance of you or your boyfriend relocating? Long distance relationships are so hard, especially when you already have so much on your plate, as you do. I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers. You can do it!
SeekingKnowledge
Thanks for your kindness. There are so many factors regarding my long distance relationship. He's the kindest, tender person I've ever met. He makes me feel completely comfortable with who I am. He says we have a connection, and we do. His "fear" is our age gap. I'm 38 and he's 53. I never looked at it as an issue, but I guess it is for him. One that he says he has to try and find a way to accept. I know it's his self-confidence because he is depressed. I've told him over and over again that I love him for HIM not his age, and that age doesn't matter. And that everytime he gets close he "loses" people that he cares about. We talk everyday. He's "afraid" to see me until he works his issues out, which I understand. I'm trying to be patient, some days are so hard. That's part of my "limbo" feeling. I don't know what the future holds here. I mean if he were closer we could see how things develop, but the distance is a killer, and so is the waiting. I just wish I knew what to do. I dont want to give up on him, but it's also not fair to me. I know that probably sounds so selfish, but I need something in my life to be "stable".
SeekingKnowledge
I"d like people's opinions if I may? Do you think a 15 year age gap is a bad thing?
SeekingKnowledge
Can someone please give me insight on the age gap thing....am I wearing rose colored glasses?
deleted_user
Age gaps of 15 years or so are becoming more and more common. The biggest problem with them are the life stage issues. For example he may be seriously concentrating on retirement where as you may be in a completely different place. But do they work? Certainly. And as far as waiting till he has his issues worked out---good grief if we all waited till we had our issues worked out to have a relationship we would be waiting forever. It is clear that he is putting distance between you and that is not good. I don't know how to advise you on this but let us see how the story unfolds.
SeekingKnowledge
When you have depression and get into a real low, don't you justwant to shut everyone out? Some people anyways? For me, I go the extreme, I need to "let it out" and share because it's so difficult to gothrough it alone. I know people must be tired of my whining and crying, and maybe I should keep it bottled up. I don't know.
SeekingKnowledge
I know I keep posting, but I really need advice/help. I don't know what to do about the situation of the relationship I"m in. I love him so much, but I'm so lonely. It hurts how lonely I am. I yearn to share my life with someone. I would love for him to be that someone. I just don't know what to do. If I decide "I've had enough" I feel like my world would shatter even more. I feel so helpless.
SeekingKnowledge
I know I keep posting, but I really need advice/help. I don't know what to do about the situation of the relationship I"m in. I love him so much, but I'm so lonely. It hurts how lonely I am. I yearn to share my life with someone. I would love for him to be that someone. I just don't know what to do. If I decide "I've had enough" I feel like my world would shatter even more. I feel so helpless.
deleted_user
I don't think anyone on here can tell you what to do. Just try to figure out what is best for you and move in that direction.
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