You are amazng for everything you have accomplished and been through. Ten kids? Seriously? That is amazing!

Now it's time to take care of YOU! Get help. See a doctor about gtting on some medication for the depression and also look in to some therapy to address the abuse. Stay away from the people who don;'t beiieve you and don't validate your feelings. Keep posting and let us support you during this difficult time. There are others here, myself included, who were abused and can relate to you.

You've done really well. Don't be too discouraged by the sister: it could take her five years to digest what you have said, and find a way to get through it. One thing is for sure, she's already got problems in her marriage and you've just thrown her for a loop.

Don't be surprised that mum's avoiding being involved too. It can be depressing finding out who doesn't have your back, but if she had your back, this thing would escalate and I would suspect it needs a cooling off period. Just because she's not defending you doesn't mean she isn't trying to do what she thinks will serve you best.

Maybe it's time for you to just break away a little bit? Go on a holiday. Or if not that, then just spend time with people who nourish you for a while.

I appreciate your thoughts for those who provided feed back. I am on Cylexa. I have been on Prozac. Life gets complicated way to fast. I never would of through any of these things would of happened to me. Some of these things I have never uttered out loud except when absolutely necessary. I am tired. Just plain tired. exhausted to the bone. I know what I need. I need emotional space. My mother is 92. I know she does the best she can with the capacity and understanding she has. They are all caught up in lies and always have been. reminds me of "into the wild." Anyone ever see that movie?

Welcome to DS and this group. Your accomplishments are amazing ... you are an amazing person.

Molestation ... particularly of the young, is a very complicated issue and WAY above my knowledge, education, and wisdom. I just know without a doubt it is very damaging to the victim.

It is also my understanding the effects are treatable. You are paying a heavy price as a (potential?) victim, . while at the same time, you are deserving of a good life ... with all the work you have put into it.

Sooo, you can see the imbalance .... and it is time to get everything in perspective. Not that your perspective is 'wrong' .... but it is that everything has many valid 'perspectives' ..... and there are probably several that would benefit you.

These 'perspectives' can be discovered and exploited to your advantage ... with effective professional help. I am BIG on medication, ... but in your case, I don't think meds will benefit you more than psychotherapy would.

If you think you know the CORE problem (the molestation attempt) then I urge you to seek EFFECTIVE counseling on that subject. If it is something else, then seek it for that.

DS has many types of support groups. Check them out at:

http://www.dailystrength.org/support-groups

and see what ALL is offered to you. Ms. Lacy ... you are a person of great quality ... and deserving of a fulfilling life. You MAY be punishing yourself, OR someone for something that will never be forgiven .... but simply may need to be 'excused'. Not being an expert, ... I DON'T KNOW ..... but something ... perhaps between your ears, needs to change ... so you can have what you can have.

Hook up with a professional ... and see what you can discover. Can't stay stuck where you are.

God bless you for raising 10 kids and having 10 grandchildren and going back to school and nearly having your masters. What major accomplishments. Family often go into denial and take sides when one speaks of molestation or rape. It's quite common really and it makes the healing process that much more difficult for the victim. I should know that's exactly what happened when my step-daughter was raped by her uncle several times between the ages of 12 and 15 years old. You would be better served by seeing counselor or therapist another wards some one who is not involved in the situation to help you get through this rough time and help you heal and get back on your feet again. Hugs and prayers, johnnyboy

Thank you for all of your wisdoms. I have bucked up through this all for so many years that it was hard for me to finally tell my sister but it needed to be done to protect others. She and her husband always bullied me and almost kept me under their thumb. I was ready to explode . I am not stupid. I finally got tested and have an IQ of 126. I just have low math. At that point I decided not to let their comments and my father's resounding "stupid" to define who I was or am or will be. You know what hurts worse? Is my sister's rejection...as she was my primary person in many ways as I was growing up...and her life is so stinkin sweet...money money money and of course they have to look perfect. They live in a glass house. That can't stand for things not to be perfect. It is easier to sweep me under the rug. I do need to get into therapy...but the weird thing is that the minute I told my sister what a monster she had for a husband....I stopped having this reoccurring dream of a house with a secret room that I could never quite enter because of ........what ever it was that was preventing me...sometimes it was the idea of monsters, or just that it was packed with old things...Its just that I try so hard....and wish it would all just leave me alone.

When we measure ourselves against others, .. we are often way over doing it ... or falling short. Best to be happy with ourselves .. and let others 'be'.

I wish you the best.