I don't think I would do well in a live chat environment either which is why I like this forum and use it alot.

Too be honest, this place can be a bit much for me as well...There have been many occasions where I have shied away...

This is not my phobia, if anything I need a touch of this one lol...

Not making fun!

But I totally get the fear of a phobia. So all I can tell you is what I've been trying to do with mine, which is take tiny steps. REALLY tiny.

I don't know exactly how a live avatar thing would work...I think I'm picturing it correctly, but I'm not sure. You know the particular forum/site better than us, so you're the best equipped to think up what those tiny steps might be.

Just don't let it defeat you. That just makes it stronger. Even if you can take a tiny step, that's a victory for you! Don't let phobias have any victories, the evil little bastards just love it, and it makes them grow.

Perhaps you jumped into this too fully. Is voice involved? You could try taking out pieces of the experience until it's more comfortable for you, then slowly putting them back in as you feel more comfortable...if that makes sense.

Sorry that you're dealing with this...but the little steps can work. Slowly, but slow's better than nothing. Hugs.

Summer it's hard to explain how the site works...I'm cracking up here because I don't even know where to begin in explaining...Technology is running ahead of me too :p The place is called IMVU if it helps.

My friend from here actually invited me and I feel like a let down that I'm having trouble interacting with her on there.

HUGS

I know what you mean. I feel like I'm jumping into the deep end of the pool and I don't know if I know how to swim. I will hang in there and I hope you will to.

I'm in my 40's and i struggle with pple too. Even behind a pc screen! Ive sat here and gone red in the face, your fear doesnt feel stupid to me cos i get that too, but yes I feel stupid and i feel left out out and isolated.
Ive been on DS since 2009 and ive never done the meebo online chat thing this site has. I see it as keeping my distance, keeping myself safe, i do what i feel i'm comfortable with. Go at a pace your comfortable with, work yourself in gently, if you throw yourself in head first, i dont think its a recipe for success.

Friend19 I remember i used to be like that back in the days of 'irc' and icq' or whatever it was. I think its just you learning to feel comfortable with what yr saying. Just blurt out whatever you want, it doesnt matter if you stuff things up...youll end up getting the hang of it eventually :)

I don't think it's stupid at all...

I have a much harder time chatting in chat rooms with a number of people at a time. I am much more comfortable chatting one on one with someone on YM or whatever. I even have my meebo completely shut down here because most of the time, I have a hard time chatting one on one with people I don't know well.

{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}

I also suffer from social (and online) anxiety.... I know what its like...if im with just 1 other person I am fine and can have a conversation....but add just one more person and thats it, Im an outsider.
I also seem to be the same online unfortunately....and I have been a member of many different forums over the last ten years, and still feel like Im being judged every time I post or think that my advise or support is not necessary or wanted....I hate it and would love to fit in but know I probably never will fit in anywhere.....
I hope it doesn't end up being the same for you........sorry if I have said anything out of place...as I said I feel I am being judged and always feel the need to say sorry for just about every post I make..

I've been here, so I'll tell you what I've learned.

This is going to sound harsh, but it is actually good news.

People don't think that much about you. When you leave the situation, even if awkward, it is forgotten. If it is not forgotten to any extent, that person has no life and something is wrong with them. Even if they talk about it, they don't really care about it.

The only time you should worry is if you might be harming someone in any way. Otherwise, all that awkward, bad joke, uncomfortable silence stuff is small potatoes to people. Really, it doesn't even matter.

Definitely not stupid! Summer is so right, though. Tiny steps and consistently exposing yourself to just the thing you'd most like to avoid are the most successful ways to combat phobias. Maybe you'd like to read a bit on exposure therapy? This is the most effective treatment there is for anxiety disorders, as demonstrated by repetitive and thorough research.

I know this is way, way easier said than done, but no one is setting a deadline or making demands or anything, so it really is just a sort of suggestion. Summer is obviously correct too in saying that letting it defeat you only makes it stronger; avoidance from issues that cause us extreme stress or anxiety gives us momentary relief, but the stressor (wanting to talk to people in social situations/the commonality of social situations in human culture) remains the same. Something is haywire with our brains (believe me, I say this with fondness out of kindness not only to friends but to myself as well), which causes us to experience the type of "flight" and dread that, instinctively, we would "normally" feel if our lives or physical safety were at stake.

However, when we are able to in whatever-sized increments confront and experience the anxiety and anxiety-causing situation, our body gradually learns that there is no physical danger and can learn to stop making the incorrect connection.

Long story extremely long, I wholeheartedly second summer's post!

I often find online interactions more difficult than those in real life purely because of the absence of feedback provided in face to face conversation.

For instance, I don't know if I am conveying the emotion I want to through the medium of text and am often concerned that what I have written could be misconstrued and offend without the added tone which would be provided in my actual speech. Or that I might be boring the other person because they haven't replied immediately.

But I'm trying to use chat now in order to get over this fear and accept that just as in real life, there will be natural pauses.

Just keep on trying. Maybe try to initiate chats rather than wait for others to contact you or if you read something in a group chat that you have an interest in , just make a contribution. A few words or a few sentences, it doesn't matter, whatever you are comfortable with and hopefully your confidence will grow and your fingers will type as soon a thought comes to mind :)