I have fought with depression my entire life. For me, meds help, but they do not block out all the depression. Likewise, talk therapy can help, but there is nothing that 100% keeps my depression from coming back. I pray and that helps; I don't know if you're into that. One thing you mentioned that apparently does help you is writing it down. I invite you to consider doing more writing: posts here, but also things like poetry, a journal, maybe a memoir or autobiography, or stories or novels. Who knows, maybe your depression can become a source of creativity. (It is for me.) I will pray that you find the answers you need.

My anxiety/depression is only alleviated by distraction. I made it to retirement age and was faced with too much time. Became a volunteer at a local hospital, go to the library 3-4 times a week, read and listen to music. Classical music pulls me out of funk but it is work and is worth the rewards.

That struggle between feeling lonely but wanting to be alone is something I struggle with a lot too. I've come to realise that the self isolating is not me. It's just a symptom, so it's something I need to work at even if I really don't want to.

Sometimes it can take time to find the right counselor. I think it's worth another try. I feel that when you find that person you can connect with the healing can be so powerful.

I'm glad that it can help to write things down. I hope that you find some joy and peace. You have to search for it. I don't think it ever just appears. There are little things that make you feel even a moment of happiness everywhere. For me sunshine and nature are two of the big things. Its winter here but today I went for a walk by the beach and just being around the happy families and friends playing made me feel a bit of peace.

It's summer here...On new years I had big plans to make this the best year ever. It is turning out to be the worst year ever. I had major surgery and developed an auto immune condition that is making my depression worse. But thank you for the kind words.

I guess it depends on how much suffering you can stand before you decide to try some medication.
And some people don't benefit from therapy until they get on medication.

Hi. I too have an auto-immune disorder and it affects just about everything else, including my depression; it makes it worse.
Your depression can't get better on its own. Talk with your physician who prescribed it. But, I'm pretty sure he/she will ask why you stopped taking it. Maybe you could start taking it again?
I keep busy too. It helps me to climb out of the deep sinkhole called depression.
Take care and good luck.

I often feel the same way, even forcing myself out to do things like walk or golf or be with friends or my wife works for only a short period of time. I work alone from home and my job is not good at all right now, lots of negativity and people down on my department so that's a source of depression as well as the isolation and nothing to look forward to. Some days it gets bad and scary and others it's not so bad but I know the feeling.!

I've been on meds off and on briefly but couldn't tolerate side effects and never really saw any benefit.I read a book called the mood cure and it talked about the difference between false moods and genuine sadness from real life events.It then suggested natural amino acids to rebalance the brain chemistry. I found this approach helpful even though I still struggle with depression at times.