Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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So low and alone

momx3a
momx3a
I do not recall the last time I have felt so alone and low. I can not break away from the way I have been feeling. Life was good, had an awesome boyfriend/fiancee, great best friend, life goals, etc.. In a flash everything just changed. My best friend turned on me, my boyfriend and I decided not to get married but try to improve our failing relationship, I've completely stopped working towards my goals (college) and I'm now facing health issues. I literally have nobody to turn to and help me except my bf and I rarely see him. He works 100 miles from home, commutes daily so we see one another maybe 2 hours a night. I work full time, take care of the children (2 mine, ages 11 & 15 and 1 his, a very disrespectful, always gotten his way 4 year old), housework, bills, etc.
On top of that, we have been thinking of moving closer to his job and that has fallen on me to find us a home to move too. I'm so overwhelmed and he just doesn't get it nor does he offer much support. I am literally almost to a breaking point and I can't handle much more of ANYTHING!
Restful
Restful
It sounds like you need more help from your bf. You are not superhuman and cannot take on every responsibility yourself. Maybe both of you could compromise on different tasks, such as feeding the kids, housework, etc. You could also ask him to help you look for a place closer to his job. It's more enjoyable and attainable as a joint effort. This will hopefully allow you a little more time to do things for yourself.
momx3a
momx3a
I've tried explaining to him I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, but I don't want to put to much on him because he does leave for work at 5:30 every morning and doesn't get home until around 7pm and a lot of times he works 6 days a week. On the other hand, he doesn't even help with bills, groceries or anything, that again is all left on me. He says that will change when we move and he doesn't have to spend so much money on gas going back and forth but I'm seriously doubting that. I just feel overly taken advantage of by him on so many levels and it's tearing me down to the lowest point i'm at.
momx3a
momx3a
Guess I should add, I don't know if I really feel taken advantage of by him or if it's the depression and the dark hole I'm in thinking for me. He does do other things for me and pays for them such as, works on my car, motorcycle and pays for our dinners out.
I just don't know anymore.. I'm just sick and tired of literally being sick and tired and fighting myself to get out of the bed every morning.
Restful
Restful
The fact is that he should be helping you financially, emotionally, and physically. That's what a relationship is all about. Even if it's just for a few hours each night, he should be willing to commit to do certain things to lighten the load that has been placed on you. This is without a doubt a source of your depression and anxiety.
sixtyplus
sixtyplus
Sounds like he is getting free room and board and child care and........... ????? but what are you getting out of this?
bridgie101
bridgie101
I think you need to be very careful. It is just as important to protect the innocent as it is to punish the guilty.

What you have here is 'tough times'. And the question is whether you step up during those times, or whether you become the weak link that breaks the chain.

I'm seeing someone driving 200 miles a day. he's doing that because he has to. Here - that's 160km each way, 320km per day. I find driving 64km a day hard work.

So the gas is going to be extremely expensive. go find out how much it costs, and satisfy yourself about how much he is spending on gas.

I'm seeing suspicion from you; and the only cure for suspicion is facts. Identify the costs. Identify the situation. If he is your fiance you are going to need to be able to lump your lot in together with his, including money, so that there is no 'my' money, and no 'his' money - but only 'our' money. Sit down together, pool your funds together, and work out what everything costs together. Split the balance as pocket money for each of you, and carry on trucking.
survivor69
survivor69
ASK HIM 2 INTERVENE REGARDING HIS SON.
A 4 YEAR OLD IS A BIG JOB.
GBU
DRENA B
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